Day 4 and I am really off to amazing first few days of my journey and my self imposed challenge. I didn’t do everything on schedule last night or today, but I am ok with that. It’s the weekend so we should relax and not be so stuck on a schedule. I really have felt amazing today though. I noticed while driving back home alone, after dropping 2 off for her person’s birthday party, that my head was quiet. It was peaceful. No racing thoughts, no worry or anxiety, no negative self talk, no listing off what I needed to do or accomplish. I was clear headed. I don’t remember the last time I felt so incredibly calm and relaxed. It was an amazing feeling. One that I hope to have often. I’m not even sure how to describe it. As someone with ADD, anxiety, depression and C-PTSD, a quiet mind is a gift that seemingly doesn’t come around often. If I can give myself that gift it would be life-changing and extraordinary.
Last night I went to bed between 12:30-1. I woke up about 2am. I broke my rules and got up and went to the bathroom and got ice cream and went outside. I went back to bed though. I slept until 7ish got up but decided no, I’m going back to bed. I slept until about 10:15am. All and all probably 6.5 hours of sleep. I’ll take it! I wasn’t exactly motivated this morning to do my routine. I even contemplated having Sunday as an “off day” or a mini routine day. Once I got started though I was in it and completed all of my routine and felt great.
It’s been an easy day. A good day. I swept and mopped the kitchen, did some weeding in the flower beds with 3. I’ve stayed positive and energetic. I’ve just been overall calm and relaxed today. I didn’t let myself get overwhelmed by a to do list or fall prey to some worry about tomorrow or next week. I’ve just allowed myself to be present and take everything as it comes. I’ve been really proud of myself these past few days and am looking forward to how this journey continues. I’m sure I will have struggles like day 1 or stress out or some other obstacle to overcome, but I’m learning that half the battle is my attitude towards it.
The night concluded with 3 and I getting ice cream and sweets for 4th of July, Watching fireworks. Pizza and snuggles with the PPP. 2 is spending the night with her person, the first night away from me since getting out of the hospital. 1 is out with her boyfriend at a family cookout. Im trying to make the most of my night by spending time with the PPP and 3. Fireworks got a little triggering for 1 when she got home as it seemed the whole neighborhood was celebrating the 4th with fireworks. Meds, earphones, video games, and kitty snuggles seemed to get her more balanced.
Accomplishments and Gratitude List Day 4
- Completed meditation
- Completed weekly goals
- Scripted my day
- Positive affirmations completed
- Reviewed goals
- Listened to multiple motivational videos
- Journaled
- Today I am grateful for peace and calm
- Today I am grateful for relaxation
- Today I am grateful for quality time
- Today I am grateful for my PPP, my love
- Today I am grateful for my threefold
- Today I am grateful for independence
- Today I am grateful for having everything I want and everything I need
- Today I am grateful for my journey
- Today I am grateful for a place to write, this blog, and my journal.
