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Positivity Push

This is going to be my weekly positivity push. I don’t want to shove it down anyone’s throat, but I still want to stay on track with my goals and allow myself a space to keep myself accountable to my journey to being a more happy, positive, grateful, and loving person. So instead of tracking daily I will just do it weekly which allows me time to write about other things. This post each week will just be my check in and goals for the week.

This past week I did really well. In spite of a lot of chaos and problems that had arose, lacking sleep, and just the general day to day I was able to stay in a positive mindset. I couldn’t have in-person visitation with 2 due to a girl on her floor testing positive for Covid. I could’ve allowed that to make me spiral, but instead was grateful that after two rapid tests, I knew 2 was healthy, they were taking precautions, and informing parents so they were apprised of the situation. We got news that my threefold’s grandmother had passed away. I supported my threefold. I made sure they knew how she loved them and made sure 2 would be supported by her team instead of being upset and angry that 2 would be unable to attend services. I meditated each day, did positive affirmations and tried to keep my energy as high as possible. We did family dinner every night and made time to talk about our days. I am excited and nervous about the week ahead but I know with a good attitude I will be just as successful this week.

This coming week has therapy appointments for all, work commitments and important meetings, a funeral service, helping 2 through this major loss from a distance, supporting 1 and 3 through their grief, interactions with my ex and his family, plus my normal day to day duties and responsibilities as a mom, partner, and at work. I am aware of the uncomfortable situations I will be in and the awkward tension that could be unavoidable. I want to be prepared for each day and primed for overcoming any obstacle that may try to take me off course.

The following are goals I have for the week:

  • Take each day as it comes, start fresh and take charge each morning by implementing a routine.
    • Meditate twice per day
    • Positive affirmations three times a day
    • Wake up on time
    • Arrive to work on time
    • Script each day
  • Goals for each day and the week written out and reviewed often.
  • Celebrate successes and move on from challenges quickly and effectively
  • Relax to ease tension and stress
  • Find the good that is all around me everyday
  • Get more sleep and rest by establishing a routine that works for me.
  • Eat once a day minimally, but try to have a snack or small meal earlier than just dinner.
  • Drink more water.

Now I’ve realized that it is impossible to be happy and positive all the time. That is an unrealistic and unreasonable standard to expect from myself or anyone else. There are going to be days that I get overwhelmed, that I overthink too much, or that I get angry and upset. I’m allowed to have negative feelings and I am allowed to have challenges. The goal isn’t to pretend that I’m happy all the time or that I am always grateful for my everything bad or good. That’s a load of crap. Sure you can find the silver lining and spin the situation to a more positive outlook and approach, but I am human. I am going to make mistakes and have set backs. My goal is to not allow my brain to settle into the bad and stay in the dark and twisty spiral of negativity. My goal is to retrain my brain to see more good and to have my focus there instead of on the bad things happening to me or around me. My goal is to not overthink myself into panic mode over the uncontrollable challenges, but instead learn from those challenges. I suffer from depression, anxiety, and C-PTSD. These are most likely going to continue to be uphill battles that I have to fight. The goal is to continue fighting them. The point is to not let my mental illnesses control my life, but for me to live life despite of having mental illness.

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