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The Terrible Tens

I’ve heard about the terrible twos but with my threefold I swear there is something about age 10! No one warned me about the terrible tens! Age 10 in girls is when the hormones start flooding and they are at that age to be too old for barbies but they are too young to claim the independence of the teenage years. It’s like the alarms all sound and they are triggered to be these angry, irrational, emotional little monsters. {ok that’s overdramatic…not really, but maybe} I get it they are trying to find out who they are and what is really going on in the world but it’s not a fun age at all. It’s hell year. It’s hell year for everyone {even my monster} but I think it’s just part of growing up.

When 1 was 10 she was moody and started being super emotional. She was quicker to talk back and never wanted to hear anything I had to say. I thought “we’ll just wait this out, it’s fine.” The more I punished and the more I fought her the more she pushed. She stayed in that sensitive kind of rebellious {she’s always been too scared to be too rebellious or disrespectful} “phase” for a year or two. She had a wild streak at 15, but quickly turned the corner and is an awesome almost adult person at 17. I’m glad she was the first of my threefold, if this were reversed I might have sent them all to boarding school at 9. Just to be safe and not taken my chances.

Two, I wasn’t even prepared for her terrible ten years. I was blindsided by the hate she had for me. I’m not going to lie I didn’t know how to react. She made me feel like I was the worst mother on the planet. I didn’t know what to do. She was pretty mean for a couple of years but then she came back to me. Now that she is 13 I can honestly say I am looking forward to the teenage years because those pre-teen years gave me major anxiety and a lot of mom insecurities. I realized with two this might be a thing. I just wasn’t sure. 2 isn’t all roses and sunshine, but she has really matured and is growing into an independent person who is becoming an awesome young woman.

Now it’s 3’s turn. If the other two gave me gray hair then I guarantee 3 is going to be the one to make all of my hair fall out or have pulling it out. I don’t know if this is the age or the circumstances we are in or both. Probably both, but I am positive that this kid could be the one that makes me lose my mind. Everything I say she argues against. I don’t even know why she feels the need to make everything an argument! She makes messes that she fusses about cleaning up. She has tantrums worse than two year olds. She screams bloody murder when she is mad. She sneaks, hides, lies and doesn’t like anyone saying anything to her. She throws things, hits, kicks and makes everyone upset. She definitely tests all the patience I have in me. It’s almost like she is possessed. Some days she is awesome, but a few days a week it’s like the wrath of 3 is taking over the house. I’m doing my best. I think she has a lot of feelings and change that she doesn’t understand, but I also think it’s the age too. She wants to grow up, but she wants to stay the baby too. I’m hoping over the next year it settles like it did with the other two. I’m crossing my fingers. Pray for me! I’m sure she will be ok, she is a sweet girl and has a lot of curiosity. She is smart and funny. It’s just the age. {I really really hope so anyway!}

I have never been the heavy handed disciplinarian type of mom. I’m pretty easygoing and I go with the flow {or at least that’s my opinion}. I don’t like yelling, I don’t spank, and I wouldn’t be the one to be cruel. I have rules, but they’re basic and it doesn’t take much to meet the few expectations I do have. Keep your room clean, be mindful of your own messes, be respectful, schoolwork, one chore that benefits the household, keep up with your hygiene habits, be honest, communicate, therapy and take your meds. Okay…maybe that is a lot to ask a ten year old to do. I think it’s pretty straightforward and it’s the same regardless of how old you are. I mean the last two might not be applicable for everyone, but it is in our family! I have at least two out of three that tell me I’m a good mom, so I have that going for me! {get this they even say it when they don’t want something from me!}

Maybe it’s just my kids, but 3/3 seems pretty unlikely. It’s got to be a hormone thing! It’s just got to be. Maybe it’s an ADHD thing? Who knows! I’ve been through this three times now and all I can say is I am so glad my third time will be the last time I have to experience the terrible tens! Someone please tell me if they have any idea what I’m talking about! I think it’s funny I question if this is the kid. The kid that is going to be the one to be the threefold curse it’s clear though, my mom said I would get threefold what I gave to her. They as a whole are my threefold. It was never going to be one of the three. I’m doing my best and honestly I’m pretty sure there is nothing I can do except wait out the terrible tens! ☮️❤️😊~ M

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