Posted on Leave a comment

Trying to Bring the House Down.

If you want to know what it’s like to have ADHD as an adult. Here it is in all of it’s glory! You are so scatterbrained and unfocused. You don’t just lose track of time. You don’t just forget your keys in your room. It’s not just forgetting a drink before you leave. It’s not searching for hours for a key that you are the only person that has a copy of it. It’s not just locking your purse and everything in the truck. It’s next level scattered and unfocused. Stress only intensifies the scatter. That’s what January has been like for me.

One of my scattered mornings where I was rushing too much to stop and check my pockets, I locked my keys in my bedroom. Easy problem to solve right? Nope! My bedroom door can’t be picked with a skeleton key or simply unlocked with a credit card. My bedroom has a keyed lock that we installed to keep my ankle biters from creeping in and stealing our stuff. I couldn’t call the other person who had a key, because my purse was in my truck with my phone, which was also locked. My keys were behind that door and I was late for work. What was I to do? Well I probably could’ve done something else, but I did the first thing I could think of…I kicked the door in. I’m bad ass, but also have no time management skills in my possession.

A few weeks later I couldn’t find the key to the danger drawer. This is not a good situation. All my sanity and that of my threefold is locked in the danger drawer. I looked EVERYWHERE for that small key. My robe, nope. The sherage (my garage), not there. My traveling trash can (my truck), not there either! I cleaned my purse three times and checked all seventeen of its hidden pockets and emptied that black hole, still nothing. My jeans, the laundry basket, the kitchen, under the bed…no. I searched high and low. I even dug in my garbage, just to make sure. No dice. So ‘E’ had to drill out the lock and render the danger drawer unsecured. The next day it was found in my hoodie pocket that I had worn two nights before.

Probably the most dangerous conclusions of my absent mindedness came when I was pulling out of my driveway. I had realized as I was backing out that I didn’t have a coke for my afternoon caffeine kick. Much needed and very important piece of my life for full functionality. Well. What had happened was…I pulled back in the driveway and ran into the garage to grab a coke out of my outside refrigerator. I heard a crash. I came back around the front and realized I didn’t put my truck into PARK! It was rolling into my closed garage. Shiiiittt! Thankfully, my maintenance on my vehicle is pretty much nonexistent. So my alignment isn’t quite right. My Ruby {yes she has a name} took a slight left. And hit the three trash cans in front of the garage before coming to a stop at the wall. No harm. No injuries. Just some spilled trash and a lot of feelings of embarrassment at my brain malfunction. I got the coke though!

When I say all three of these events happened within weeks of each other, I’m not kidding. I have kicked off the new year and also a door in. I lost my key in a sweatshirt. I did not do this month right. I crashed and am crossing my fingers, toes, and legs {because I’m a damn lady!} that I don’t burn too. I am going to have to slow the hell down! My house can’t take the beating I’m giving it!

So that’s my recap for January. I did reach some goals, but mainly I just lost my train of thought. I was in a funk more often than I had anticipated, but February is here and it’s time to clear my brain fog! I am going to refocus, slow down and get my year in gear! January was my ‘free trial month’ for 2022, now the real deal is here. I am keeping the subscription so I’m going to use it more carefully! No option to cancel! Stay positive! We’ve got this! ☮️❤️😊~M

Posted on Leave a comment

The Terrible Tens

I’ve heard about the terrible twos but with my threefold I swear there is something about age 10! No one warned me about the terrible tens! Age 10 in girls is when the hormones start flooding and they are at that age to be too old for barbies but they are too young to claim the independence of the teenage years. It’s like the alarms all sound and they are triggered to be these angry, irrational, emotional little monsters. {ok that’s overdramatic…not really, but maybe} I get it they are trying to find out who they are and what is really going on in the world but it’s not a fun age at all. It’s hell year. It’s hell year for everyone {even my monster} but I think it’s just part of growing up.

When 1 was 10 she was moody and started being super emotional. She was quicker to talk back and never wanted to hear anything I had to say. I thought “we’ll just wait this out, it’s fine.” The more I punished and the more I fought her the more she pushed. She stayed in that sensitive kind of rebellious {she’s always been too scared to be too rebellious or disrespectful} “phase” for a year or two. She had a wild streak at 15, but quickly turned the corner and is an awesome almost adult person at 17. I’m glad she was the first of my threefold, if this were reversed I might have sent them all to boarding school at 9. Just to be safe and not taken my chances.

Two, I wasn’t even prepared for her terrible ten years. I was blindsided by the hate she had for me. I’m not going to lie I didn’t know how to react. She made me feel like I was the worst mother on the planet. I didn’t know what to do. She was pretty mean for a couple of years but then she came back to me. Now that she is 13 I can honestly say I am looking forward to the teenage years because those pre-teen years gave me major anxiety and a lot of mom insecurities. I realized with two this might be a thing. I just wasn’t sure. 2 isn’t all roses and sunshine, but she has really matured and is growing into an independent person who is becoming an awesome young woman.

Now it’s 3’s turn. If the other two gave me gray hair then I guarantee 3 is going to be the one to make all of my hair fall out or have pulling it out. I don’t know if this is the age or the circumstances we are in or both. Probably both, but I am positive that this kid could be the one that makes me lose my mind. Everything I say she argues against. I don’t even know why she feels the need to make everything an argument! She makes messes that she fusses about cleaning up. She has tantrums worse than two year olds. She screams bloody murder when she is mad. She sneaks, hides, lies and doesn’t like anyone saying anything to her. She throws things, hits, kicks and makes everyone upset. She definitely tests all the patience I have in me. It’s almost like she is possessed. Some days she is awesome, but a few days a week it’s like the wrath of 3 is taking over the house. I’m doing my best. I think she has a lot of feelings and change that she doesn’t understand, but I also think it’s the age too. She wants to grow up, but she wants to stay the baby too. I’m hoping over the next year it settles like it did with the other two. I’m crossing my fingers. Pray for me! I’m sure she will be ok, she is a sweet girl and has a lot of curiosity. She is smart and funny. It’s just the age. {I really really hope so anyway!}

I have never been the heavy handed disciplinarian type of mom. I’m pretty easygoing and I go with the flow {or at least that’s my opinion}. I don’t like yelling, I don’t spank, and I wouldn’t be the one to be cruel. I have rules, but they’re basic and it doesn’t take much to meet the few expectations I do have. Keep your room clean, be mindful of your own messes, be respectful, schoolwork, one chore that benefits the household, keep up with your hygiene habits, be honest, communicate, therapy and take your meds. Okay…maybe that is a lot to ask a ten year old to do. I think it’s pretty straightforward and it’s the same regardless of how old you are. I mean the last two might not be applicable for everyone, but it is in our family! I have at least two out of three that tell me I’m a good mom, so I have that going for me! {get this they even say it when they don’t want something from me!}

Maybe it’s just my kids, but 3/3 seems pretty unlikely. It’s got to be a hormone thing! It’s just got to be. Maybe it’s an ADHD thing? Who knows! I’ve been through this three times now and all I can say is I am so glad my third time will be the last time I have to experience the terrible tens! Someone please tell me if they have any idea what I’m talking about! I think it’s funny I question if this is the kid. The kid that is going to be the one to be the threefold curse it’s clear though, my mom said I would get threefold what I gave to her. They as a whole are my threefold. It was never going to be one of the three. I’m doing my best and honestly I’m pretty sure there is nothing I can do except wait out the terrible tens! ☮️❤️😊~ M