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Saving my Sanity

I don’t know how I’ve survived the past 17 years of being a parent to three girls, my threefold. How have I managed to only have been in a psych ward that one time? {that had nothing to do with my kids, it was all my lovely mental illness making itself known} I’m not sure why it took me this long to find my sanity saving secrets. I wanted to share though, in case anyone else has found themselves losing their patience, becoming the snappy, irritable, on edge momster, or needed a sanity saving technique.

Thankfully I have a great medication regimen right now that is my real saving Grace, but not everyone requires medication. Everyone does require self care and some type of sanity saving solutions to manage stress. Stress, anxiety, overwhelm, burnout and worry are all part of life. Everyone experiences it, but if there is a way to manage it without having a meltdown, blowout fights, emotional breakdown or pulling out your hair then I’m down to give it a go. I’ll try anything twice, just in case the first time was a fluke or flounder.

When I can’t get out of a funk and nothing else is working I have found some helpful sanity savers that make it easier for me to maintain my composure. Don’t knock it til’ ya try it type solutions. It took a while for me to find the best methods for me. I went through a shit ton of unhelpful methods before I found my sanity saving solutions. What works for you could be found in some trial and error, and it’s worth the effort. It’s self care at its core. If you tell me you don’t have time, I will laugh at you. If I can find time even with my threefold, a full time job, umpteen appointments, a relationship, a blog, and everything else in between…so can you, pumpkin.

My Sanity Saving Solutions

  • MEDITATION!
  • MANIFESTATION
  • GRATITUDE JOURNAL
  • DAILY GOALS

I meditate 2-3 times per day, sometimes more. Sounds crazy and some people say it’s nonsense, but it works! Mindfulness and meditation is proven to be helpful for people who are stressed, overwhelmed or anxious. It improves patience, focus, positivity, calms your nervous system, and relaxes you. It is even recommended for chronic pain as a form of relief. It’s my go to when I’m overly stressed or irritated. Even my threefold now will ask me if I’ve meditated. I’m just more centered and focused.

I do my manifestation journaling or ‘scripting’ usually at least once per day. My morning madness usually has at least 10-15 minutes carved into it for my daily manifestation journal. I try to do this in my evening meditation also for my broader goals and aspirations. Some days I skip this, but I’ve found setting my intentions for the day in writing really keeps them top of mind and helps guide me through overcoming any obstacles. My daily goals are reached more easily and consistently when I manifest how my day will go. I’ve had amazing success with my evening manifest sessions as well. When I went back and looked through my manifest journal from 2021 and reviewed the goals I set I could clearly see where nearly everything I manifested I received.

The gratitude journal is what gives you the ‘attitude of gratitude’ it’s a cheesy saying, but it fits the bill. I’m rolling with it. You can’t be grateful and negative simultaneously. It’s impossible to be thankful for your blessings and be in a bad mood. This is why the gratitude journal is at the heart of my routine and is what forms the base of meditation as well as manifestation.

I use my gratitude journal to remind me of everything I have to be grateful for. I can usually consistently spout out about fifteen or so reasons I’m grateful each day. Some are simple, like caffeine. Others are more complex concepts, for example, my capabilities. I have noticed a shift in my mood when I am showing gratitude and when I write down what I’m grateful for not just have these occur in passing thoughts. It’s an intentional show of gratitude.

I make a list every night of the goals I want to accomplish the next day. They have three main focus areas: mood/attitude, work, and family. Those can be different for everyone. The intentional goals I set out to achieve each day are the action items that I am able to do each day to reach my larger goals for the month and year. It’s about the long game, but it is done in the steps taken each day. Most large goals won’t be achieved in just a few days, so that’s why I break them up into mini-goals that are attainable and show my progress. My progress is what builds my confidence. Every day isn’t perfect, but I am capable of achieving these mini-goals. When they are achieved it’s a confidence booster. When they aren’t I can still move to the next day knowing it was only one day. Setbacks are normal and don’t define you. Don’t let one bad day decide that you are not going to achieve the big goals.

Some people say this is all crap, hokey and don’t believe in having an attitude of gratitude, manifestation or meditation. I do. I believe it because it has worked for me. It has changed my mindset. I am much more positive about my life. I truly believe whatever you put out into the universe you receive. If I put out positive vibes and give off positive energy, that’s what I receive. The opposite is just as true. You know that saying ‘negativity breeds negativity’ well it’s true. If you go into any situation with a negative mindset I guarantee you will find every obstacle and barrier. You will find fault. You will find the failure you’ve convinced yourself that is there waiting for you. If you go into that same situation with a positive mindset and positive intentions I guarantee you’re going to be more able to conquer those hurdles that you face and more determined to succeed because you’ve told yourself you CAN do it. That’s what manifestation is doing for you. You are setting your positive intentions and you’re telling yourself it is possible.

If you can see yourself doing it and can write it as if it’s already yours or already happening, it is then you’ve manifested. It’s the mind trick that makes you feel that positive energy. See it coming to fruition, feel the emotions of that experience, write your intentions and then go do it and prepare for that all to be done. That’s why meditation and manifestation go hand in hand. Both of these have to have a foundation of gratitude behind them to be successful.

I meditate first in order to clear my mind of the clutter and become centered. My next step is a manifestation meditation. I then write down my manifestation to solidify it. After these steps, I turn to my gratitude journal to say thank you for what I have now. I then set my goals for the next day. All in all it is more or less an hour of time that I set aside to center in on myself. To some an hour per day seems impossible, but it’s worth the time to choose you. It’s definitely customizable to you, but I feel an hour is a fair accounting though sometimes it’s longer for me and other times I spend less time than that. Most of the time the majority of that time is spent in meditation and manifestation, which typically have about 15-20 minutes tied to each. I can get carried away in the scripting part of manifestation spending a chunk of that time in this area. My gratitude and goal setting is pretty straightforward and typically take the least amount of time. On busy days, I will separate these out, so I’m not spending that hour all at once, but on days where I’m particularly out of center I will set aside the full hour and just do it. When I can set that aside I will also go full out as that’s what has the most benefit for me.

To each their own, but this routine has really impacted my life in a positive way. It’s my sanity saving solution. My threefold and ‘E’ are pretty good these days not to interrupt mommy’s me time. They have noticed the positive difference it makes in my attitude and my ability to keep my cool amongst our chaotic life. It’s an important part of my life these days and a solution I wish I had found much earlier in life. This is why I wanted to share it with everyone else! Stay positive people! We’ve got this! ☮️❤️😊~M

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Without Further Ado…

Hello! Today is the day I show the face behind the words, snarky comments, the tears, the laughter, and the sarcastic anecdotes. I’ve revealed so much about my life OUR life…but today I’m also revealing the real person living that life.{I’m freaking out!} I’ve spent the last year hiding this, but I don’t want to hide anymore.

I chose to hide. I had decided that I didn’t want people to see the author, mainly because I was protecting myself from scrutiny and hateful comments. I also wanted to protect my threefold. I wanted us to have a voice but I wanted the anonymity as well. Those things don’t go hand in hand. I’ve learned that the faces behind the words are important in order to form a connection, regardless of how compelling the words may be on their own. It’s overdue, but I’ve been so nervous about the haters, my threefold facing judgement, my own insecurities, and of course my ex. I didn’t realize I was allowing all of those people to have the control over what I would do or could do with my own life. I was still allowing my past mistakes and experiences to drive my future. Not anymore!

I don’t want to hide behind my words anymore. I don’t want my past to overshadow my future. My voice, my identity and my story has remained hidden for too long. I’ve lived in fear and worried about other people’s opinions of me for far too long. It’s time to truly shine a light on our story. We deserve to take back that power. We need to stand firm in our truth and in our faith for a better future. The future we create for ourselves. Let your light shine! Be Positive! We’ve Got This! ☮️❤️😊~M

The Author behind ‘My Threefold’
☮️❤️😊~M
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A Little Christmas Magic

Happy Christmas Eve! Hope everyone is having an amazing Christmas so far and that you didn’t just get fuzzy socks and a coffee mug with a sarcastic saying on it! Even if you did though, it was well meaning I’m sure {even if not well executed} You might be the parent that sent $20 to school so that little Suzy could buy you something from the Christmas Shop Supporting Vegan Lunch Options. Come Christmas morning you unwrapped a plaque covered in gold foil printed with #1 mom or Best Dad Ever! You’re loved, and you really are #1! Even so maybe that $20 plaque money could’ve been better spent on a Target gift card or anything else. Yet this is when that old saying comes to mind ‘it’s the thought that counts!’ With kids, sometimes, it really is the thought that counts!

My defcon four did pretty damn good this year for mom! With a 17, 15, 13, and 10 year old things get a bit more interesting come Christmas. The handmade coupon books that were never redeemed {actually I think they each owe me a good bit of whine free chores!} The homemade Christmas ornaments that are in a box in the closet. The sweet letters about you being their hero. Those precious keepsakes are replaced with material things. Sometimes the material things are coffee cups {even when you don’t drink coffee} or fuzzy socks. Sometimes they are regifted decor from around the house, like what I received for the youngest of the defcon four crew tonight. Still I said thank you and gave her the beaming smile of approval for the thoughtfulness. She tried, and for me that’s what counts! The thought.

I’ve been a wreck for weeks as I scurried through trying to budget for Christmas without a mound of debt I couldn’t pay back and without phoning a family member for a loan. Somehow we managed to manifest some Christmas magic. We didn’t even procrastinate {as much} as we have in the past. The obstacles that were put in front of us were obliterated by our optimism and knowledge that it would work out. I still am sporting my fancy Christmas anxiety that’s reserved only for this time of year. Honestly though, I’ve never been more excited for Christmas as I am this year. I know that everyone got what was on their list, plus a few things.

I kept ‘Anxious Annie’ at bay for the most part {there were a few days where I took the bipolar express straight to mood swing station} and replaced her with inner ‘Resourceful Rhonda’ as I like to call her. Rhonda can scout out a deal like no other! Me and full price, we aren’t friends! If I’m going to buy my daughter half a shirt then so help me I’m paying half price for it! The big things this year which are on trend with every adolescent Christmas list-electronics. My #3 wants a tablet, 2 oldest want new iPads, one fancy laptop and the kitties sleeping in a cat tree! {I had to, sorry not sorry} Being a parent with four kids to appease with over $1000 Christmas wish lists each is a bit of a headache to say the least. I don’t know how we managed to accomplish such a financial hit but somehow it’s happening!

If ‘E’ wasn’t helping me, we wouldn’t have everything we have this year, but between his conjoined financial backing pooled with my own money, my resourcefulness, his good credit, and a bit of Christmas magic we are making this Christmas one for the record books! ‘E’ and I really stepped up this year to give defcon four the Christmas they deserve after this crazy chaotic year!

Now I have to go wrap this shit up! Literally! I have procrastinated this part long enough! I’m truly grateful for the many blessings we have and that we will all be together tomorrow! I hope you all having a very Merry Christmas! Stay Positive! You’ve Got This! ☮️❤️😊🎄~M

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Beat the Odds!

The Goal Getter Guide for People Who Get Sh!t Done.

Some part of all of us who at one time or another we feel life shouldn’t be this hard or that we should have had it all together by now. We aren’t going to find the solutions to all of life problems today but we can fix a lot of our problems and start placing our bets where we are guaranteed to win. We can fix our fixation on the future, lower anxiety and still have a goal getter mindset and accomplish everything we want. This is why my way is better than what you’ve been doing and how using this method changed my life!

First things first-let it all go. That’s a stupid saying right? {I’ve always hated the straight to the point sayings.} Is it untrue though? No. that’s one of my biggest tips I can offer you. Stop fixating on the goal that there is some worry free life where everything magically works out and we get everything we want with minimal effort. Our focus may be in the future, but we want that quick fix solution NOW. Why else would millions of people pay money to play a game they are going to lose except for 99.8% of the time? Who plays that game? People will pay for a game that is nearly guaranteed to disappoint them to have the little hope they have in the moments before, the dream? What game is this? If you hadn’t already guessed what game, it’s the lottery.

People pay millions of dollars every week across the world for the smallest chance to have their numbers appear on a screen and have that hope for the moment that they could have a life that will NEVER happen for them. Harsh? No! That’s the truth! If your hope in life is that you will win the lottery you are playing a losing game. You have a better chance of marrying a millionaire, getting a record deal, inventing a multi-million dollar product, writing a successful book, or inheriting money from a long lost aunt you never knew of then it is to win the lottery. It’s a fixation on a future that is all about chance. A chance that will only be a reality for one in those millions. Sure, there’s a shot {and you can’t win if you don’t play.} but your chances are next to none.

So how do you fix that? What can you do to change your odds? Quit playing the losing hand and focus your fixation on the winning one. So what is the winning hand you have to play? Where do you place your bets? Place the bet on YOU. You took out any work other than buying a ticket when your hopes and dreams involve you winning a game that you are nearly guaranteed to lose. That’s why it’s easy to hope for a big life because you didn’t work for any of it. You went to a store and you hoped for the beat. That’s it. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that you are not going to win. The top of the known statistics about most lottery winners is they end up filing bankruptcy. My best hypothesis is that they lose it all and end up right back where they were before because they have no personal investment in the money. If you worked hard for something and earned it, then you are invested in the result. These people who put work into their achievements have priorities and want to make sure they never have to struggle like before. That’s my theory. {tell me it doesn’t make sense though.}

So we’ve learned the odds are stacked against you {and me} of winning the lottery any time soon and they are still pretty low that there is some long lost aunt somewhere that you don’t know about that has you marked as their only beneficiary, sorry I dashed your dream of being an instant millionaire with a single sentence. Let’s be the adults we are and stop hoping and wishing on the idea that we will have be the 1 in nearly 14 million that win the big jackpot in the pick 6. Also realize that the state lottery {mega millions} you have a mere 1 in nearly 276 million odds {but if this where you want to place your bets, do you boo.} So how do you become a Goal Getter? How do you get what you always wanted out of this life? How do you find success, realize your dreams, and make the type of money you want? I’m going to tell you!

Real talk. You ready? You are fixing to find out the answer of how to make this life whatever you want it to be…and it’s going to sound too easy. YOU make it! YOU create it! YOU stop telling yourself all the reasons you can’t {the ultimate C-word} and replace it with all the reasons YOU CAN. Sounds too easy and simple, but it’s true. Will it be instant? Nope. Will it be easy. Nope. But in case YOUR momma didn’t tell you, I’ll be the momma who will- “Nothing worth having in life is going to ever be easy.” I wish I had listened sooner and figured this out before 37. I would be a hell of a lot further than I am now if I had remembered this little saying and started being a Goal Getter and got it done!

How do you do it? Why try? Why work for the dreams when you’ve failed to reach over and over? Why work for something that there is no guarantee you will ever get? Why? Why? Why? Well I’m going to tell you why! You do it because YOU decide you’re worth it. I’d rather try and fail and fall but get up then sit here scared to fall and afraid of the failure that I never even try to fight for my own dreams and work for my own goals. I will always fail if I never do anything. It’s impossible if I do nothing but if I change the impossible to having the mindset of I’m possible then I have already taken the first step in reaching my success.

Before I tell you how I am going to tell you why. Why the hell should you listen to me? What do I have that makes me so ‘woke’? {that should make adults and kids alike cringe but you’ll definitely start asking why!} What makes me the expert? Why haven’t you heard of little ole me? Why should you listen to a single mom, who works a 9-6 job, who makes very little money writing, who is divorced, has children who have struggles with mental illnesses, and who is seemingly no better or who has no credentials, and who has zero experience or who is seemingly unqualified to give any pertinent life advice? Why listen to me at all? Well before I tell you how to do more than you did today I will tell you what has happened to me since I started living my Goal Getter life a year ago.

Over the past year I’ve changed my life one goal at a time. A year ago I was on the left and my present is on the right {because I am headed in the right direction!}

  • Miserable Marriage
  • Pessimistic Outlook
  • Isolated
  • Substance Abuse
  • Dying Dreams
  • 220lbs
  • Unmedicated Mental Illness
  • Unhealthy Parent
  • Anxiety Daily at 8/10
  • No energy
  • Lying to everyone
  • Negative self talk daily
  • No routine
  • Mediocre Work Ethic
  • Hopeless and Depressed
  • Trapped
  • Negative influences
  • Triggered often
  • Impatient
  • High expectations of others
  • Divorced and engaged to a good man
  • Optimistic Attitude
  • Rarely isolated
  • Drinks rarely and no recreational drug use for over 10 months
  • Rekindled passions and chasing dreams
  • 150lbs and muscle tone, down 10 pant sizes.
  • Therapy and medication management
  • Positive role model for mythreefold
  • Anxiety 3/10 regularly
  • Incredible increase in energy and drive
  • Brutal honesty in most everything
  • Positive affirmations and more confidence
  • Routine for self care, goal review, time etc.
  • 2 raises and promotion in a year with drive and passion even in my 9-6 job
  • Determined and Happy
  • Free from past, guilt, and my self-made prison
  • Cut off my negative influences and replaced them with positive ones
  • Triggered rarely
  • Patient, compassionate, and understanding
  • Heightened expectations of self and lower of others

The point isn’t that I never fail or that I don’t want to quit when it all gets too hard. The point is that regardless of how big I fail or how much I hurt from the fall my reset time to start over is nearly instantaneous and I start each day fresh. I put my all into each day and do my best. Even when I’m not 100%, I’m always going to be at my best even when I’m sick, feel myself falling, if I’m on the edge, or when I jack it all up. If all I have is 40% that day I’m ok giving my full 40%. The days I’m on my game, I am unstoppable. The question shouldn’t be why should you listen to me. It should be why not? Honestly what do you have to lose?

You may be thinking, ‘mmhmm lady, big freaking deal.’ Yep, it sure is a big freaking deal. It’s a huge deal because I changed from that person on the left who questioned everything and everyone {including myself} and made lists and empty promises to everyone {especially myself} of how I wanted to change my life, but I didn’t know how and was too scared to even start. To the person I am today. The person on the right. The person I wanted to be everyday but never knew how much I was allowing the world and the people around me convince me that the bad always would win. That’s bullshit! I haven’t accomplished all of my goals, and the truth is I won’t ever accomplish all of them. I’m going to be a work in progress for the rest of my life because I’m always going to look for ways I can be better. I don’t think I’m better than anyone else and I don’t think I’ve cracked the code of some new way of life. I just made a plan and found a way and did it. I do think the true testament is that I’ve managed to change this much despite of the many obstacles that I was facing during a year that should’ve been my worst year ever and somehow I’ve managed to have the best year despite the bad. Guess what? I did that. All of it. Me. A 37 single mom of my threefold, that walked away from a 15 year miserable marriage filled with toxicity, with only three boxes of belongings and my threefold. Five psychiatric hospitalizations in one year for my #2, a lot of therapy, tens of thousands of dollars in medical debt and a lot of missed work. I could’ve easily gone back to the mess I was before but instead I made it my motivation and my mission to break that cycle. This doesn’t mean I’m perfect. I’ll be the first to admit I f’ed it up and still do have my fair share of bad days. The difference is where I would’ve said one bad day meant I should quit and allow that one day to become my reason and excuse for going back into my hole. I fail better now. Failure doesn’t stop me. I can have a bad day or a bad week and instead of throwing my hands up in defeat I dust myself off and remember my why and keep moving forward into my future .

I can’t guarantee anything will happen or give you a timeline on your goals, but I can guarantee that you will be happier, more motivated, find your faith, and you WILL be better on every level if you decide to fix your fixation on your failures and become future focused. I’m excited about my future! Are you? You should be! Place the bets where they belong and take a chance! What could you get out of trying it my way if you just put in the work? If you want something bad enough, nothing can stand in your way except for you. Now the question you want the answer to how to become the Goal Getter who goes out and gets shit done? I’m going to give you a sneak peak at the how so we can have the best year again next year. I’m going to give you the way I’ve found that worked for me and can work for you too. I’m going to give you the tools to get there regardless of where you are now or how big the dream is. If you’re just willing to put in a little work. What do you have to lose? Nothing. What’s the worst that could happen? You stay the same? If you don’t try that’s exactly what will happen. More of the same. Imagine this for just a second {just imagine} what if you don’t fail? What if it works? What if you find your way forward? What if you start finding a way to that better future you’ve always been waiting for and decide to be a goal getter and go get sh!t done? Your chances increase exponentially with my way. That I guarantee!

For the rest of my life 2021 will be the year I broke myself apart and everything and everyone seemed to shatter with me. It was a chaotic catastrophe filled year that took a lot of caffeine and cuss words and more crazy than anyone planned for to get through. No one will truly understand how broken we were before or how we broke ourselves completely to get to where we are today. On the flip side, 2021 however, will forever be the year that we took all those broken pieces and rearranged them into the beautiful brave bad asses that we’re born through the bullish!t. 2021 was our path to beginning to discover the life we always dreamed of was a possibility.

Our bets are placed on a big and bright future that we decided to create ourselves, the one we deserve. Be on the lookout for my 2022 Goal Getter series that will give you the tools you need to have to become the best you in 2022. Plan now and get excited about the possibilities that are waiting for you in 2022!

Be positive! Be a bad ass! Find the message in the mess! You’ve got this, goal getter! You are capable of amazing things! ☮️❤️😊~M

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Oh Happy Day:

Today was an amazing day! For the first time in a week I’ve felt like almost a whole functioning person again! The lingering cough and general tiredness aside, I actually made it a whole day without needing a nap or feeling like my head would explode. Covid was no joke and I’m grateful that the worst {still crossing the fingers, and toes and my legs because I’m a damn lady} is behind me. I marked a couple Christmas presents off the list and even splurged a little on myself. That’s right, Momma got some new shoes! I found a new pair of Nike tennis shoes {I’m overdue for a new pair} for $37.95! I love a deal! I’m not a coupon lady, but I don’t buy unnecessary items {don’t look at my extensive collection of journals or my colorful pens.} without scouting out the deals. I’m a TJ Max, Good Will, thrift shop, white-trash garage sale kind of spender. If I have something expensive it’s most likely because someone got it for me. I’m not the designer hand bag and matching shoes kind of mom, but I can rock my $40 nikes and my under armour hoodie I got for $15, the messy bun, no make up, sweatpants hot mess mom look all day, every day. I don’t think I would be any different if I had the funds to support luxury spending sprees. My journal collection would be obscene and I’d most likely own every motivational knick knack that caught my eye, but my sweats, worn out tees and tennis shoes would never go away.

What I was really excited about today was getting my printed copy of my Goal Getter Workbook in my hands! It was a sense of accomplishment to see my artwork, my quotes, my words, and my vision printed on paper with a cover and bound. It was my first big ‘aha’ moment where I could fully visualize my dreams coming to life! It was a dream of mine to write and it’s one I’ve put off for years. My hopes and dreams were left collecting dust and slowly dying while I was busy being too scared to even attempt seeing them to fruition. I was scared to fail and I was scared of the judgment of people in my life or the criticism of people that know nothing about me. After all, I was the girl who secured a Facebook page years prior to posting publicly and bought my domain mythreefold.com three years before even designing my first piece of digital artwork or writing my first piece. For me to go from ‘maybe one day’ to holding my own piece of work just 7 months since starting this journey -in my hands– is the most awesome feeling. I’m patting myself on the back today and beaming with pride at my 15 page workbook. Pardon my huge goofy grin, my ego, and my excitement but I deserve to have this day to celebrate my first big moment. {insert awkward happy dance here}

I’m so pumped I’m already starting on my next creation and looking at all the opportunities available to me in this writing world. I am making moves people, best watch out for this girl, I’m a goal getter with a determination and a drive that is unmatched by many, equaled by some, and surpassed only by few! {can you sense what my family is dealing with right now? Pray for them!} I’m going to accomplish my goals and create a life that is my brand of amazing. I am open to tips, tricks, recommendations and any other constructive suggestions that may be useful as I explore the future of My Threefold. As Dr. Seuss said ‘Oh the Places You Will Go!’ Ready. Set. GO! Here I come, ready or not! It’s going to be a wild and crazy ride, but the crazy train is leaving the station! All aboard the F-yeah Freight Train! Be positive & believe in yourself! ☮️❤️😊~M