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B-ROKE $$$ To BIG Bucks

Good Morning! 😘 I am leaning on the My Threefold tribe of mommas to get a little advice on my plan of action! Maybe I can gain some insight from the opinions of you guys! My kids are breaking me! I’m not just broke trying to support my boogie little beauties, I am B-ROKE. I’m attempting to sell the B off from the remainder of the word, kind of b-roke. 🤣🤣 However, I have a plan. I just need some feedback!

It would seem that my children, like most, don’t have a concept of how much money they receive each week for these items. Somehow, it’s never enough. I get calls saying “Momma, I need ….” A text request for my drive home from work, and empty promises filled with cleaning fairy dust and the return of the bowls from the burial ground under the beds in their room. Girls, are gross too, my friends, so freaking gross! 🤢🤮🤢

I am scared to see the results, but for the next week I am going to track exactly how much my kids spend on “luxury” items. I’m not talking about toilet paper or laundry detergent I’m talking about extra lunch/snack money for school, the fast food, requests for makeup, spending money, etc. All the crap they think they need to live their lives to the fullest, like Spotify premium or the unlimited data with 5g LTE, wifi, and the other seemingly priceless items some magical money fairy bestowed on our family of freeloaders! 🙄🙄

Once I show them how much they spent on their personal requests, I intend to show them how much it requires to provide the basic necessities like shelter, electricity, and those 30 minute blood of the dragon showers. The umpteen rolls of toilet paper that I feel are wadded around their hands in cast like fashion to protect their hands from the germs down under. I mean we do have soap, and ya know after you go around twice with Charmin it’s just a blanket you are using to soak up the pee! 💩💩💩 have no doubt that their cost of living is no where near the number they believe it is. They think they don’t have enough, but I see excess and moreover, wastefulness. I’m sure they aren’t intentional in their lackadaisical attitude surrounding their spending habits, just oblivious teenagers. 😒😒

My next step will be to show them how many hours I must work to provide them each the lifestyle they have grown accustomed to living at home. It’s time they see that money isn’t just waiting around for good use. In fact, it is very much earned by my hardworking, blood, sweat, tears, and my time away from them.

I am NOT trying to shame my kids for wanting more, but teach them that the price of tea and fine china 🥄🥄🥄 come with more than just a price to my financial account, but also to my physical and emotional bank account. 🤪😴🤑
The intent is to instill the value of a dollar earned. As a result, I hope they learn to be grateful, less entitled and more appreciative of the work that I put in to meet all of their needs. I don’t ask for much on return. I want respect, both of myself as their sugar momma, and of the property in which I have worked to acquire. Honestly, I think cleaning your room, keeping your own messes cleaned up, and completing one task that contributes to the household per day isn’t a BIG request. 🤔

How do you handle/did you handle chores, allowance, and get the compliance of your family? I don’t like to fight, I won’t argue or beg. I’m to the point, do it or don’t, but when you come asking I’ll mirror what decision I saw you make when I asked for your help.
😤🥱😫Mommin’ aint easy, but together, me and you, we’ve got this! ☮️❤️😊~M #makeitcount #moneymoves #keepingupwiththejoneses #mybrokebougiebrats #helpamommaout #mythreefold #broke

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The Over IT Over Haul…My Decision to Make 2023 For Me!

There is a song that plays incessantly on the radio. You’ve heard it either via TikTok, your own indulgence in pop music or because your children also control your play list when in the car. If not, then consider an upbeat tune that has a happy and fast pace beat. Once you’ve got that down, listen to the words. “Do you ever get a little bit tired of life? Like you’re not really happy but you don’t wanna die?” That’s the one. The song, entitled, “Numb Little Bug” by Em Beihold.

If it wasn’t a hypothetical question I would scream from the rooftops; “YES!” However, it is hypothetical, and no one actually cares when a mom says “I’m over it!”

Honestly, that phrase is a daily mantra spoken at my house, and expletives can be added for a more realistic and dramatic impact where needed. I’ve decided, therefore, I’m in need of an over haul. Welcome to my over it over haul and my decision to make 2023 for ME!

Over What? Over IT!

I am so over “it”! Over what? All of it. The constant battle for balance. The incessant worry. My insecurity. Obsessing over money, kids, and work. I am exhausted. I have completely pushed myself to burn out. I am burnt out and ready to burn it down to the ground. It’s time for an overhaul. An over it over haul!

Imperfect and Inspired

I’m getting absolutely nowhere waiting for everything to stop being so difficult. I’m not perfect, but this “all or none” attitude I have adopted is hindering my ability to make the changes I need to and stick with them. If change is what needs to take place, then I’m where it has to take place.

I’m an old fan of the quote “BE the change you want to see…” A quote that came from an interpretation of Gandhi’s quote about being a mirror to the world.

Another inspirational quote that I use often to motivate me to be more present and positive is, “You can’t wait for life to not be hard anymore, before you decide to be happy!” Which is a quote from Jane Marczewski. In addition, it is one that reminds me of my brother, as he introduced me to this quote amidst some an extremely difficult time for me.

You may remember a previous post I wrote back in 2021. It was entitled Journey to Positivity. My other creation was my Goal Getter Guide, in which I shared how I managed to reach my goals despite the challenging circumstances that were complicating my daily life.

Overhaul Objectives

The previous posts I have written and the steps I took prior to this point are all relevant to this process. They were designed to help me level up and guide me through my journey. They served me well. This overhaul is designed to help rediscover that path. I am looking to realign with my desires. I am looking for opportunities, risks, and actions I need to take in order to make forward progress towards catching my dreams; not just chasing them.

Now, I am giving the objectives I plan to accomplish with this overhaul. I’ll say that healing and self growth are an evolving process. I am constantly thinking of ways I can better myself as a person, be more content, and how I can keep momentum in my self-awareness journey. There is no “quick fix,” and life doesn’t come with an “easy” button.

Objectives

  • Realign with my purpose, goals, and desires.
  • Find a routine/schedule that is prioritizing my needs and allowing balance in all aspects of my life.
    • Selfcare
    • Family
    • Marriage
    • Hobbies
  • Set and achieve goals that are important for my continued success.
  • Create more opportunities for my future and the future of my family.
  • Communicate with an openess to receive criticism, improve, and to grow.
  • Continued healing and mental health improvement
  • Finding peace of mind, contentment, and positivity by silencing the inner critic.
  • Create solutions to the problems that weigh on me that are in my control.
  • Learn to better control my emotions, my reactions, and my assumptions.

Forward Trajectory

In short, I am capable of making changes to reach my desired destination. I am stubborn. I am competitive, and I am driven to be the best version of myself for myself and also for those around me. I am particularly passionate about my self growth and healing journey. I will accomplish my goals. I am deserving of more than what I give to myself. I am in control of my narrative, my attitude, my actions, and reactions. I am ultimately responsible for overhauling any behavior that is not aligned with my desired path.

Now I plan. I will let you know how I propose to meet these objectives and reignite my passion without burning out. It’s time to say “I’m in it” and not “I’m over it.” Therefore, I’m ready for this overhaul. I wish you all the peace, love, and happiness in your journey! Check in on Facebook for my daily updates on the over it overhaul. As always, me and you, we’ve got this! ☮️❤️😊 ~M

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Meet the Critic

At my darkest and loneliest times, she is there. In the silence of the night, she is there. When I’m at my weakest, she is there. She is with me when I walk into an uncomfortable situation. After a heartbreak and in my grief, she never leaves me. When I’m on cloud nine, and hopeful she shows up. When I’m anxious and unsure, she is talking to me. When I’m hurt and angry, she supports my feelings. She validates my actions. She gives me the option to run away. She remembers everything I’ve ever said. She knows my past. She knows my weaknesses. She takes pictures, so I remember what we’ve done together and all of our experiences. She is the one who hasn’t ever abandoned me, and the one never stops showing up.

I’m sure you’re wondering who this is. Maybe a mother, a daughter, a sister, a lover, or a friend. She is none of these and all of these. She isn’t anything and she is everything. She is the voice inside my head that I fight to silence every day.

You may think that you know her, but let me explain. She isn’t there supporting me or empowering me to keep going. She wants me to stay this way so she can thrive while I struggle to merely survive.

Who Are You?

You won’t meet her, but im sure you know someone just like her. You can’t see her, but her voice is always there. You probably aren’t a fan if by chance you know her as intimately as I do. Consider this your proper introduction. However, I don’t know if you will understand.

She steals the spotlight, demands to be heard, and aims to hurt anyone who dares to silence her. She is the one who tells me that I’m never going to be enough. She shows me the worst parts of the people around me. She drives them away, then tells me “see they don’t love you. Otherwise, they would stay.” She manipulates my feelings and twists my words. She tells me the worst-case scenarios and keeps me fearful of my every move.

Where Did She Come From?

Sometimes, she sounds like my mother, telling me I will never be pretty enough, thin enough, smart enough, good enough, or just enough. Other times, she sounds like my abusers who made me believe I was always to blame. In my head, she can make anyone sound like a hurt from my past. She has pictures and videos she can play to remind me of every hurt I’ve ever endured. She holds the buttons to my triggers. She is persistent and doesn’t care about the consequences.

I know she is made up of the broken pieces of my past. She is the child who felt unwanted. She is the teenager dying to fit in. She is the young mother looking for a way out. She is the abuse survivor. She is a traumatized woman. She is bleeding in the shower. High in the bathroom. A thief. A covert narcissist. An abandoned young adult. A lonely wife. The mother who was too scared to fight back and save her children. She is the addict. She is the worst part of me. That’s who she is. She is the version of myself I’m scared to become and equally terrified she is the real version I keep hiding from the world.

Change Her, Break Her, Abolish Her

I have tried to allow her visitation and then quickly see her out. However, she is relentless. At times, she is the only one who validates the unfairness of this life. She allows me to be not okay. It’s oddly comforting to be able to wallow and grieve a life I didn’t live. However, she aggravates those wounds I am trying so hard to heal. She breaks them back open and makes them bleed.

The past suddenly becomes present, and she revels in the power to overtake me. She feeds on my pain. It is as if my own mind is going to destroy me slowly. She holds me hostage. I struggle to break free. No matter how hard I try, I haven’t found a way to rid myself of her.

Fighting to be Free

You may think I’m just negative or that I’m weak. I’m the exact opposite. I am strong because I fight this voice that prays on my downfall each day. I’m successful in defeating her, but she knows when to strike. She pulls me to the darkness and holds me captive to her cruel onslaught of verbal blows.

I’m unsure if others fight off this toxic voice made up of their past. However, I know it’s lonely when it’s her and I. Maybe another person wont feel alone with no one who understands that the voice inside your head is sometimes hardest to silence. Even now, years into healing I still struggle to find my healthy escape from her torture.

Now you’ve had an introduction. If sometimes you see me cloaked in fear, paranoia, resentment, anger, or anxiety, please know I did not choose this for myself. I don’t need your attention, but meet me with compassion instead of judgment. I’m broken, and this is what repeated trauma has left behind for me.

It’s not easy. Sometimes, it’s the hardest battle I fight in a day. It is a battle of dismissing my past negative and limiting beliefs. I try now to remind myself of the 3 years of work I’ve put into my healing. However, I fight every day for the future I want, not to stay prisoner to the past, I escaped. I hope you, too, can find healing, and one day, I hope there is comfort in silence instead of her voice telling me how I will never fully overcome the trauma of my past. You and me, we’ve got this! ☮️ ❤️😊~M

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To the Man that Stepped Up

To the Man that Stepped Up

To the Man that Stepped Up


— Read on mythreefold.com/2021/06/20/to-the-man-that-stepped-up/

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Motherless on Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day. Mother’s day is bittersweet for me. I dread it every year, along with a few other choice dates that have very little significance to others. My mom passed away fourteen years ago. Every year, I am just as sad as I was that first Mother’s Day. Although, I have my threefold to celebrate with me on Mother’s Day, it’s just not the same anymore. I’m motherless on Mother’s Day, but I shouldn’t be.

I have so many regrets and at the same time, I feel cheated out of so much time. We should still have plenty of years left to spend with my mom. I was just at the beginning of this journey when I lost my mom. I never knew that losing a parent would leave me so lost too.

Wherever you go mom goes

Gone Too Soon

My mother passed away at 48 years old, suddenly and completely unexpectedly. She left behind a family who would cling tight to one another in the months after her passing. However, that tight family would drift apart years later.

When my mom passed away, I was 23. I was 23, married, I had a four year old, and was 7 months pregnant with #2 of my threefold. I thought I was an adult, but honestly, I was still such a naive girl. My brother was 27, married and the dad of a two year old daughter. Then there was my dad, he was distraught, and unsure of how to be alone after losing the woman he had married over 25 years previously. We were all so incredibly lost in the aftermath of my mom’s death. In many ways, we still are.

It was too soon. It is unreal. As a result, I still to this day feel cheated due to how much my mom has missed. I still feel that sadness and pain I felt over a decade ago. Along the way, I’ve learned there is one saying that is so true: “no one on earth can ever replace your mother.”Make the memories because one day that’s all you’ll have left

The Truth About My Mother

My mother was not a saint. Although, it’s easier to glorify her now that she is gone. Furthermore, my mother and I did not have the relationship of a tv sitcome mother-daughter duo. We fought like crazy. At times, I wondered if she even liked me. In addition, I am sure that I said the words I hate you on more than one occasion. My mother and I had a love-hate relationship.That tulmultuous up and down relationship left me with many regrets and a tremendous amount of guilt after she died.

The Not So Pretty Side

My mom was never much on affection, she was overly concerned with her appearance, what others thought of her and was very much that mom. She loved shopping and other materialistic things that brought her very little joy. In addition, she was chronically depressed and anxious. She slept more than any person should ever need to and was only social if she had a few drinks. In addition, she was highly critical, petty, dramatic, and had the RBF that made you think she was pissy.

The Good Mom

On the other hand, my mother was generous. My mom opened her home to my friends in need. She often dontated to charities. She was a fierce protector of her children. She stood up to injustices and treated people with kindness. I watched her give money to the same homeless man on the corner everyday she saw him. I witnessed her pay for people’s groceries and the car behind us in the drive thru. She had so much good. She loved animals.

My mom wasn’t perfect, but I know she tried. However, I know my mother suffered from mental illness. I understand it much more now, than I ever could back then. As a result, that mental illness is one of the things that killed my mother and stole all of my time with her. If we would’ve known, we would’ve helped her before it was too late.Mother’s Day without your mom

Life Goes On

I vividly remember those days after my mother’s death. Everything felt surreal. It seemed as if I was moving in slow motion. However, everyone around me was still moving at normal speed. It was like a nightmare that I was just waiting to wake up from, but never did. I wanted her back. I needed her. The truth is, I didn’t even know how much I would need her.

After her death, I couldn’t help but selfishly think about all the many moments I would need my mom and not have her by my side. I didn’t know at the time just how many of those days there would be ahead of me. Furthermore, I didn’t think about the many, many milestones she would miss in my life and the lives of her now five beautiful grandchildren. Although, each time we come across one of those milestones, I still find myself aching for her to be there with us.Mom is doing her best

Memories

Memories and old pictures are all we have left now of my mother. I hold tight to those. It’s not fair. Although, it’s not easy finding the way forward, somehow we keep going. It’s not easy being motherless on Mother’s Day. There is a piece of me that died when my mother did. However, I’m still not sure what piece I lost when we lost her.

I took the time I had with my mom before she died for granted. If I can offer one piece of advice it would be if your mother is still in your life make the call, go visit, send the flowers, and show her all the love and appreciation you have for her. After all, she won’t always be here and one day you’ll wonder if she knew how special she was to you. In the end, all you’ll have are the memories you made.

Happy Mother’s Day. ☮️❤️😊~M

Motherless Mother’s Day

Make me a happy mother and follow along on Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest! It’s fine you can push all my button just like my kids do! I’m totally used to it! Support a mother and buy some merch from the stuff~n-~things shop 😂❤️~M