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To the Man that Stepped Up

To the Man that Stepped Up

To the Man that Stepped Up


— Read on mythreefold.com/2021/06/20/to-the-man-that-stepped-up/

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This is YOUR Journey!

I’ve seen the mommy blogs with the cute craft projects and the vegan recipes. I’ve read the posts about connecting with your kids and loving them through bad behavior. I’ve read books about how to be a better parent and even paid for a parenting coach. I’m not one of those moms who can pretend that that mom life is easy. It’s not easy. We’ve established that. There wasn’t a rule book handed to us when we peed on the stick and found out that two lines means two people. Basically, we are all out here raising tiny humans hoping that we don’t screw them up completely. All we do is the best we can.

I definitely don’t have all the answers. I’ve got teenagers and preteens. I’m amazed that I’ve survived this far. With #1 about to turn 18 and graduate high school, I’m realizing I’ve successfully raised one kid to adulthood somehow. Hell, she’s even going to a fancy university with scholarship money and a future goal for life. That’s more than I had at 18, I was not that kid. I must’ve done something right, though I’m not sure what that something was. Ive got two more kids to get there and honestly, I’m not sure how the first one has gotten here. It’s been a hell of a ride. One I won’t be getting off of anytime soon.

My threefold is my heart and soul. Theses girls all are so uniquely different and they all need different things from me as their mom. I’m just winging it. Sometimes I hit it out of the park. On those days I feel like I’m super mom and that no one can top my momma magic. Other days, I’ve been told ‘I hate you and wish you weren’t my mom’ or ‘you are just like dad!’ Those days make me feel like I’m a momster. Kids can make us aim to be our best and they can also bring out our worst. It’s a balancing act.

I have learned a few things from the moms who have it all together. I have implemented a few plays from my parenting coach that have won the day. I also gained a little insight from the books and posts that I found helpful in my mom journey. I’ll save you the money you would spend and give you my informal reviews of some of those that stuck with me through the years.

  1. “You can’t pour from an empty cup”
    • My interpretation: take care of yourself. Self care is NOT going to the Walmart alone to get groceries, stop acting like it is!
  2. “Even the best parents lie to their kids”
    • This is so true! Telling your child your food is spicy because you don’t want to share is a lie. We all lie to our kids to save our sanity, at least a little bit.
  3. “You’re the boss”
    • We wrap our worlds around the needs of little people. At the end sometimes we forget who runs the show. Hold your ground. Don’t negotiate with tiny terrorists.
  4. “Maybe in mom language is ‘no’, but for kids it’s ‘yes’. Don’t get that twisted.”
    • We’ll see and maybe almost always means no or a lack of decision for a parent. Kids however, turn that maybe into a blood oath. They will take that maybe as a way to pester you to the yes they want. Kids know how to manipulate you. It’s better to just say no if you don’t want the harassment.
  5. “Master the art of blackmail and bribery”
    • I can already hear the comments of how little Timmy doesn’t have to be bribed and how we shouldn’t be bribing our kids to get them to do what we want. It’s consequences and rewards. Simple as that blackmail=consequence and bribe=rewards. If little Timmy doesn’t clean his room he doesn’t get ‘x’ if he does clean his room he gets ‘y’. It’s just the sugarcoated version of that. Learn what works to motivate your kids and use it.
  6. “Presence trumps presents”
    • When your child grows up and is looking back at their childhood what do you think will stick out more? The parent who bought them (fill in the blank) or the parent who played barbies on the floor? There are few things that I remember that stand out in the gift department, but I remember the Wednesday night ritual consisted of takeout, watching ‘Survivor’ with my dad just hanging out and laughing.
  7. “Perception is reality. Validation required”
    • Feelings are feelings. They may not be based in truth, but they are uniquely the interpretation of an experience. Being a parent means being understanding and compassionate of a child’s feelings an perspective even when it’s hard to see how they got there, they did. Accept it and help them navigate through their feelings. They can’t be changed just because you disagree.
  8. “You are their advocate and their voice”
    • Speak up and standup for your kids. Sometimes they aren’t able to do it themselves. Show them it’s important to stand firm in what you feel is right. You fight their fights with them.
  9. “You can be their parent and their friend”
    • This one is so controversial. I remember seeing this and it went against everything I had ever heard or thought about parenting. You have to parent them, not placate them. Then I thought about my real friends. The ones who stood by me in the thick of it. They didn’t just coddle me and hold my hand. They told me the truth. Even when I didn’t want to hear it. They smacked sense into me when required. True friends don’t tell you you are right and make you feel better all the time. Sometimes friends make us see how we’ve contributed to our own mess. If you’re a true friend to your child you can parent and be their trusted friend too.
  10. “Every great mom thinks they are screwing it up!”
    • If you are thinking about screwing it up, chances are you’re doing pretty damn good. The fact that you’re worried you aren’t doing well shows you are a good mom who wants to be great. Keep going!

Whether or not my threefold make millions of dollars, become the first woman president, marry a king, or become a famous TikTok influencer means nothing in the way of success. Not to me. I just want my threefold to grow into strong, confident, brave women who know their worth in this great big world. To me, that’s successful parenting. It’s a journey. Last piece of advice…stay positive! We’ve got this! ☮️❤️😊~M

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A Little Christmas Magic

Happy Christmas Eve! Hope everyone is having an amazing Christmas so far and that you didn’t just get fuzzy socks and a coffee mug with a sarcastic saying on it! Even if you did though, it was well meaning I’m sure {even if not well executed} You might be the parent that sent $20 to school so that little Suzy could buy you something from the Christmas Shop Supporting Vegan Lunch Options. Come Christmas morning you unwrapped a plaque covered in gold foil printed with #1 mom or Best Dad Ever! You’re loved, and you really are #1! Even so maybe that $20 plaque money could’ve been better spent on a Target gift card or anything else. Yet this is when that old saying comes to mind ‘it’s the thought that counts!’ With kids, sometimes, it really is the thought that counts!

My defcon four did pretty damn good this year for mom! With a 17, 15, 13, and 10 year old things get a bit more interesting come Christmas. The handmade coupon books that were never redeemed {actually I think they each owe me a good bit of whine free chores!} The homemade Christmas ornaments that are in a box in the closet. The sweet letters about you being their hero. Those precious keepsakes are replaced with material things. Sometimes the material things are coffee cups {even when you don’t drink coffee} or fuzzy socks. Sometimes they are regifted decor from around the house, like what I received for the youngest of the defcon four crew tonight. Still I said thank you and gave her the beaming smile of approval for the thoughtfulness. She tried, and for me that’s what counts! The thought.

I’ve been a wreck for weeks as I scurried through trying to budget for Christmas without a mound of debt I couldn’t pay back and without phoning a family member for a loan. Somehow we managed to manifest some Christmas magic. We didn’t even procrastinate {as much} as we have in the past. The obstacles that were put in front of us were obliterated by our optimism and knowledge that it would work out. I still am sporting my fancy Christmas anxiety that’s reserved only for this time of year. Honestly though, I’ve never been more excited for Christmas as I am this year. I know that everyone got what was on their list, plus a few things.

I kept ‘Anxious Annie’ at bay for the most part {there were a few days where I took the bipolar express straight to mood swing station} and replaced her with inner ‘Resourceful Rhonda’ as I like to call her. Rhonda can scout out a deal like no other! Me and full price, we aren’t friends! If I’m going to buy my daughter half a shirt then so help me I’m paying half price for it! The big things this year which are on trend with every adolescent Christmas list-electronics. My #3 wants a tablet, 2 oldest want new iPads, one fancy laptop and the kitties sleeping in a cat tree! {I had to, sorry not sorry} Being a parent with four kids to appease with over $1000 Christmas wish lists each is a bit of a headache to say the least. I don’t know how we managed to accomplish such a financial hit but somehow it’s happening!

If ‘E’ wasn’t helping me, we wouldn’t have everything we have this year, but between his conjoined financial backing pooled with my own money, my resourcefulness, his good credit, and a bit of Christmas magic we are making this Christmas one for the record books! ‘E’ and I really stepped up this year to give defcon four the Christmas they deserve after this crazy chaotic year!

Now I have to go wrap this shit up! Literally! I have procrastinated this part long enough! I’m truly grateful for the many blessings we have and that we will all be together tomorrow! I hope you all having a very Merry Christmas! Stay Positive! You’ve Got This! ☮️❤️😊🎄~M

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Covid Chronicles: Day 3 & 4 11/29/21-11/30/21

Day 3 was the day of rest apparently. I’ve never slept like I slept yesterday. My body must’ve been needing that, because I was not even stirred until close to 4:00 pm. I was asleep and no one woke me. This in and of itself is unheard of. I can’t typically take a nap around here without someone needing something. I woke up and again felt almost human. No major complaints other than some aches that could be accounted to the obscene amount of sleep I had acquired. I didn’t do anything for the remainder of the evening except untangle the most massive knot of yarn and finish the finger knit garland for our Christmas tree. My main symptom yesterday was fatigue. Still no sense of smell, but that is probably in my favor still as ‘E’ hasn’t been shy about letting those butt demons free. I wanted to write but my motivation was less than on point. I figured it would be ok to skip a day.

Unfortunately, yesterday #1 found out her boyfriend tested positive and she was beginning to show some symptoms of our new house mate Corona also. ‘And another one bites the dust!’ If you’re keeping count that’s 4/6 of the people that live in my home and another person that happens to swap spit with my daughter on occasion. That leaves #3 and the ‘BK’ {bonus kid} so far unscathed.

Today, day 4, brought some time outside of the house. That would seem like a wanted change of pace, but today I did not feel close to human when I woke up, nor did I have that ‘this isn’t so bad’ thought. No, today was the day that I felt yuckiest so far. Today was the day that ’E’ and my threefold could test to seal their fate of continued quarantine or a date for going back to school. #3 was the only one who got the all clear and as long as she does not show symptoms she can return to school at the end of the week. The other two and ‘E’ are stuck at home until next week, same as I am. Thankfully everyone is showing mild symptoms and everyone is still able to rest fairly comfortably.

Today the headache was at its most intense and it did not want to let up with the Tylenol I was taking to diminish the pain. It was relentless. I showered, but even that was not helpful. I was groggy and irritable and overall I felt like garbage. My nose feels so dry, but still stopped up which seems like a contradiction. It’s possible though. The cough is still there, but it seems to be triggered less. {unless it’s a laughing fit} Overall though it’s been an uneventful couple days. Trying to take each day as it comes and although I still want to be active and go, I am heeding my limitations and accepting my body’s call for rest.

Hopefully, everyone begins to feel better over the next few days and is able to start getting their normal energy levels back. Until then we will just continue to listen to our needs and remain positive. We are home and we are together! Everyone is trying to take care of each other and surprisingly my threefold hasn’t gone into all out war with each other…yet. ☮️❤️😊~M

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Covid Chronicles: Day 2 11/28/2021

It’s day 2 of quarantine and I am already over it! I have been restless and I wanted something to do that would occupy my mind. I stayed up far too late last night looking at craft projects to busy my threefold with and making Amazon wish lists that I will never purchase. Does anyone else do that? Stave off the shopping bug by creating wish lists of things you would buy if you have a few thousand to blow and no real responsibility? I digress. Today I woke up at 10 again after getting about 7 hours of sleep. {I told you I stayed up too late}. I probably had a hard time sleeping due to the amount of sleep I have had the past few days. I didn’t feel too terrible upon waking. Minor aches and body fatigue, slight headache, and a stopped up nose. Some coughing and sinus pressure but nothing that I couldn’t manage. I’m not going to challenge my new friend Corona, I know she is waiting to inflict her damage on my body. My chest isn’t feeling like it will explode with each breath so that has to be an improvement. Like I always say, this is all subject to change without notice. I’m definitely more edgy and irritable today. I’m not really in a mood for lots of talking, noise, interaction, or banter. I’m pretty funky and so with that I am trying to keep to myself a bit more. Headphones, calming techniques, and walking away so I don’t unnecessarily pop off on anyone for no apparent reason. It seems to contagious, the irritation, I got into a little tiff with ‘E’ about my threefold being loud {and arguing incessantly}. I think we both need manage our expectations about the behavior displayed under our current circumstances. I’ll get over it and everything will be good in a matter of hours. Everyone gets a little more edgy when they are sick and the headache blows so I know the noise level can intensify that constant pounding. I have to manage my own expectations of how we will all react and behave under these circumstances, myself, ‘E’ and my threefold.

I had a goal of showering today. That’s a good goal to have. I don’t want to smell like the back of a Chuck E. Cheese in summer mixed with McDonald’s onions even if I am unable to smell it myself. I think my family will appreciate that I do love them enough to pull myself up and wash off the layer of covid film that is undoubtedly covering my body. This was therapeutic as the hot water not only soothed the aching muscles but also helped to clear some of the sinus gunk that has been accumulating in my nasal passages. Something about a hot shower makes me feel almost better.

I did fold that load of laundry that stared at me through the night. Clean towels, hooray! I switched around the laundry and made an effort to pick up the mess on my bedside table where my snot tissues, coke cans, water bottles, mail, and other items have accumulated since setting up shop in bed the past few days. We got ornaments hung on the tree and began crafting our garland and attempted the tree topper. I found a cute project for string Christmas trees and making your own ornaments. I don’t have glue though. Trying to come up with a way to make an alternative adhesive out of things I do have at home. Suggestions? I have silicone! Ha! At least we are attempting to be productive with our time! The finger knot garland is adorable and all three of my threefold got on board and learned how to do this simple and mindless craft. I think it will be a cute addition to our holiday decorations and something they were able to make that can be on display. I really want to do the string trees, damn glue. I’ll figure something out, I’m resourceful like that!

Today I took it a little easier than yesterday and my body is thanking me. {the house however can tell that I took the day off} I took a long nap snuggled up on ‘E’ as he watched fetch {#2’s name for football} on t.v. and just took it easy. I painted a bit and worked on some projects I had started but not seen to completion. I put some attention on my social media pages for ‘My Threefold’ and did a little digital artwork. I did things that busied my mind without having to be moving around a whole lot.

Unfortunately, #2 started feeling really bad today. Her at home covid test came back positive and she is unfortunately starting to feel the onslaught of symptoms. #1, #3 and BK {bonus kid} are still in the clear so far. I am praying that this doesn’t take out the whole household. I’m not sure how I will manage taking care of my threefold, ‘E’ and myself with Corona on board. She has stayed pretty positive. Not being too whiny and not really complaining. She took a note from my book and attempted to stay a little active when her body would allow by shooting a few hoops, listening to music, and making videos of her cats. I hate she is sick, but she has always been super tough and never really allowed being sick to stop her from doing whatever she wants. Maybe it’s an ADHD thing, but she isn’t much for still, rest, or relaxation.

Tonight, #1 cooked dinner, pork tenderloin, mashed potatoes, Mac & cheese, rolls and broccoli. It was delish! We sat at the table and had our normal ‘Roses & Thorns’ dinner conversation. {we all say at least one positive about our day, and share a negative if we have one}. The thorns were the obvious quarantine, covid and restless energy. The roses were decorations and learning to finger knit! {mom win!} Overall I would call today pretty successful and despite the funk energy and moods we were able to spend some quality time together. For me, that’s what I wanted out of quarantine. For us to take advantage of the unique opportunity to spend time all together. After all, how often is every person home at the same time for days on end?

Another day of quarantine is almost in the books. Only 12 days to go! We will just keep moving forward and hope that tomorrow is better than today. We will keep staying positive and trying to have an attitude of gratitude knowing that we are at home, together, safe, warm, fed and have cozy beds to recover in. Today there isn’t much more we could ask for! Stay positive! ☮️❤️😊~M