Tag: #findyourhappy

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The Over IT Over Haul…My Decision to Make 2023 For Me!

There is a song that plays incessantly on the radio. You’ve heard it either via TikTok, your own indulgence in pop music or because your children also control your play list when in the car. If not, then consider an upbeat tune that has a happy and fast pace beat. Once you’ve got that down, listen to the words. “Do you ever get a little bit tired of life? Like you’re not really happy but you don’t wanna die?” That’s the one. The song, entitled, “Numb Little Bug” by Em Beihold.

If it wasn’t a hypothetical question I would scream from the rooftops; “YES!” However, it is hypothetical, and no one actually cares when a mom says “I’m over it!”

Honestly, that phrase is a daily mantra spoken at my house, and expletives can be added for a more realistic and dramatic impact where needed. I’ve decided, therefore, I’m in need of an over haul. Welcome to my over it over haul and my decision to make 2023 for ME!

Over What? Over IT!

I am so over “it”! Over what? All of it. The constant battle for balance. The incessant worry. My insecurity. Obsessing over money, kids, and work. I am exhausted. I have completely pushed myself to burn out. I am burnt out and ready to burn it down to the ground. It’s time for an overhaul. An over it over haul!

Imperfect and Inspired

I’m getting absolutely nowhere waiting for everything to stop being so difficult. I’m not perfect, but this “all or none” attitude I have adopted is hindering my ability to make the changes I need to and stick with them. If change is what needs to take place, then I’m where it has to take place.

I’m an old fan of the quote “BE the change you want to see…” A quote that came from an interpretation of Gandhi’s quote about being a mirror to the world.

Another inspirational quote that I use often to motivate me to be more present and positive is, “You can’t wait for life to not be hard anymore, before you decide to be happy!” Which is a quote from Jane Marczewski. In addition, it is one that reminds me of my brother, as he introduced me to this quote amidst some an extremely difficult time for me.

You may remember a previous post I wrote back in 2021. It was entitled Journey to Positivity. My other creation was my Goal Getter Guide, in which I shared how I managed to reach my goals despite the challenging circumstances that were complicating my daily life.

Overhaul Objectives

The previous posts I have written and the steps I took prior to this point are all relevant to this process. They were designed to help me level up and guide me through my journey. They served me well. This overhaul is designed to help rediscover that path. I am looking to realign with my desires. I am looking for opportunities, risks, and actions I need to take in order to make forward progress towards catching my dreams; not just chasing them.

Now, I am giving the objectives I plan to accomplish with this overhaul. I’ll say that healing and self growth are an evolving process. I am constantly thinking of ways I can better myself as a person, be more content, and how I can keep momentum in my self-awareness journey. There is no “quick fix,” and life doesn’t come with an “easy” button.

Objectives

  • Realign with my purpose, goals, and desires.
  • Find a routine/schedule that is prioritizing my needs and allowing balance in all aspects of my life.
    • Selfcare
    • Family
    • Marriage
    • Hobbies
  • Set and achieve goals that are important for my continued success.
  • Create more opportunities for my future and the future of my family.
  • Communicate with an openess to receive criticism, improve, and to grow.
  • Continued healing and mental health improvement
  • Finding peace of mind, contentment, and positivity by silencing the inner critic.
  • Create solutions to the problems that weigh on me that are in my control.
  • Learn to better control my emotions, my reactions, and my assumptions.

Forward Trajectory

In short, I am capable of making changes to reach my desired destination. I am stubborn. I am competitive, and I am driven to be the best version of myself for myself and also for those around me. I am particularly passionate about my self growth and healing journey. I will accomplish my goals. I am deserving of more than what I give to myself. I am in control of my narrative, my attitude, my actions, and reactions. I am ultimately responsible for overhauling any behavior that is not aligned with my desired path.

Now I plan. I will let you know how I propose to meet these objectives and reignite my passion without burning out. It’s time to say “I’m in it” and not “I’m over it.” Therefore, I’m ready for this overhaul. I wish you all the peace, love, and happiness in your journey! Check in on Facebook for my daily updates on the over it overhaul. As always, me and you, we’ve got this! ☮️❤️😊 ~M

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An Open Letter to My Daughter Becoming a Mom

Dear Sweet Little Love,

I feel like it wasn’t too terribly long ago that I looked into your beautiful baby blue eyes and saw this new life in you that made me a mom. A little nose like mine and strawberry fuzz that covered your crown. You were magnificent and I knew that I too was reborn that day. You made me a momma, and in your little face I had found my truest love to date.

I was only 19, barely on my own path and I was suddenly diving headfirst into a world that previously had involved the occasional messy diaper and few other minor inconveniences that my babysitting jobs entailed. I had no experience with your tiniest of frames at 17 1/2″ and 6lb 8oz you were much like a baby doll i had once drug around as a small child.

I was just a baby myself, much like you are now, my sweet little love. I was freshly plucked from my fast life as a teenager and tossed into this world of Motherhood. I was grateful beyond measure for a family that a seasoned pro ready to spoil her first grandchild and a poppa who thought you hung the moon. Foe the first time, I saw how hard it was to be the mom. It was an appreciation I hadn’t known prior to your arrival.

Here we are, a mere 18 years later and I’m standing the shoes your Nana once wore, without her here pushing me on. I watch as your still tiny frame tries to accommodate your own little girl. I never thought about being a Nona, Mimi, Nana, or a Mamaw past that “one day” assumption. Yet here we stand. Footsteps that I didn’t wish for you to follow. A path that’s hard to tread at your young age.

Everything will be harder. It will, however, be clearer. You’ve already decided certain aspects of this little person’s life that will impact their life for the future. A name, a nickname, where you’ll live and all things you want, hope, and dream she will be. However, who she is will be shaped and determined by the paths we as the family who surrounds her chooses to take. As you know, my little love, children are most often along for the journey chosen by those who raise her.

I hope with your own journey in mind that you know this much is true. I am here. I am still your momma even as you become a momma yourself. I can still kiss the boo boo’s, but I can’t take the falls. I can hold you as you scream, but no matter my desire I can’t shoulder the pain. I can guide you, show you and teach you the lessons I’ve learned but I can’t transfer the experience. I can be like the grandmother that was taken from you 14 years ago, but I will never be Nana you knew, nor the momma you are now.

Life has thrown us a lot of punches. We’ve taken the hits and learned to fight back. You and I grew up together, myself as much as you. I was forced to walk this road down Motherhood lane much on my own. I haven’t been the mother you deserved, nor always the one you needed me to be, but I’ve been the best I knew how to be. You, my little love, will too. Mommin’ aint easy, but I’ll be here for you, with you, and loving you through it as long as I live. You’ve got this, my sweet little love! You’re as tough as a mother. I can’t wait to see the amazing person you’ve created and watch you become the momma you never knew you were destined to be. I’m proud to be your momma. Soon, you’ll understand just what a mother’s love truly means.

☮️❤️😊 I love you!

~Momma

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ENDurance

We’ve all been enthusiastic about something in life. My favorite example of enthusiasm is how the night before my first day of school as a kid I would be so enthusiastic and had this anxious excitement for the year ahead. It was a fresh start, school supplies were accounted for and I knew that it was going to be a great year. I was enthusiastic about getting started. I believe that enthusiasm is a common occurrence for everyone. It may be that first day of school or a new job. Maybe it was a relationship or a project. However, enthusiasm can only take us so far.

Eventually, we hit a wall and enthusiasm isn’t always enough to get us to the finish line. The desire doesn’t go away, but it’s not as exciting now that it’s hard or now that it’s actually happening. Maybe it wasn’t what you thought it was. Your schedule changes at school, the job isn’t anything what you thought, the fighting begins with the partner, or you hit a roadblock with the project you wanted to do. In the loss of that enthusiasm we tend to give up. I know, I do.

I’ve been known to lose enthusiasm and lose my want to see whatever it is to the finish line. School was exciting and I would try really hard for a few weeks, but if that effort didn’t pay off, I didn’t like the class or just simply lost my motivation for a couple of days…it was done, I didn’t try anything else. I would diet, lose weight, and do well for a few weeks. Then there would be a ‘bad’ day. I would eat the fries and have cake. I would throw in the towel and say ‘there’s no point. I can’t do this, I already screwed it up.’ That’s how we react when it doesn’t go exactly according to our plan. The end.

Wait…It’s time for endurance, not time for the end! This is when I think we set ourselves apart. There are numerous things that even with enthusiasm and good intentions matched with hard work and a willingness to learn that will require endurance, patience, and strength to be successful. Some things may come easily and all it takes is the attitude and confidence that you are capable. While other ventures may end regardless of the enthusiasm and endurance you have. It’s about listening to yourself and finding what you believe is worth fighting for. For me, it took a long time to find what I was willing to endure and recognize what I was capable of enduring…and yes, what I needed to end.

I endured and persevered through an abusive and unfulfilling marriage. I felt I gave what I could and allowed what was taken from me. I tried to push through and find the enthusiasm to continue. I had the determination, but when there are many factors involved and other people have an effect on your result, it’s trickier to decide if it’s meant to be I fought the end many years, in fact much longer than I should’ve, but in the end I knew that I tried and could walk away knowing that it wasn’t just me quitting when things got hard. I didn’t jump ship at the first sign of bad times. I stuck with it, but it wasn’t healthy for myself or my threefold. It had reached the end. The end has been a process of endurance {and enthusiasm} in and of itself. I could’ve just as easily ran back to what I knew, instead of facing many hardships or fighting the battles I have. The end was my goal. I needed to end that chapter and find my path to happiness; for my threefold and I.

I am enthusiastic at my work and it pays off. I have a good attitude and I enjoy what I do. I’m confident in my abilities. I know my value and my work is often rewarded. I attribute this to my success in my company. It’s not always easy, I often want to say ‘screw it, someone else can handle this’ or have to pull myself out of bed in the morning, but I endure those challenges of my own making and those beyond my control. This endurance has led to two years under my belt with two promotions and four raises, amongst accolades from my clients and my company. It’s resulted in creating a name for myself and a future for my threefold and I. It also led me to find the man I now consider my soulmate and my second chance romance, which is quite enough to call myself successful.

I could’ve quit on my relationship with ‘E’ when things got hard. I could’ve stopped writing when I’ve had blocks. I could’ve quit many nights fighting my threefold. I could’ve quit my job when #2 was hospitalized. I could’ve quit trying to find solutions and treatment plans to help myself and my threefold. I could’ve quit my healthier lifestyle. I could’ve thrown my hands up a million times, but that’s not who I am or the role model I want for my threefold. I’m not a quitter. When life throws punches, I bob and weave. I wait for my opening and show life who is in control. I win. I’m a badass. Stay positive. Endure. We’ve got this! ☮️❤️😊~M