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Real Talk Realizations

Normally I’d have some inspirational post to start off the month. It would be part of my ‘Goal Getters’ series. It would mention all the goals I made and how I reached each one. I would give little hints to how you can also accomplish your goals with a ‘Goal Getter’ mindset like mine. It would be a fluff piece, full of positivity. It would have promised that with a few changes you can live the life you’ve been dreaming of and you can be the person you aspire to be. It would be inspirational.

THIS is NOT that piece. I’ve warned you. I have no inspirational tales of how I accomplished my goals and manifested my dream life during the month of January. I have no motivational speeches where I spit all the shit you should’ve done and shouldn’t have done. My positivity push was completely flushed down the drain when the new year began. I’m not sure why I had such a rocky start. I’m not sure where my ‘Goal Getter’ attitude and my motivational mantras went. I guess I left them in 2021 with everything else I learned last year. I know my negativity is not needed in your world either, but I promised to keep it real and this is as real as it gets. Real talk.

I had high hopes and high expectations for 2022. It was going to be the year everything started falling into place. It was supposed to be the year that I took the lessons from 2020 and 2021 and found my purpose. My plan was big, but is it too big? Maybe I still have a lot to learn if I’m going to give up on my dreams and my goals after 30 days. Who the hell am I? That’s not the girl with the grit and grind goal getter attitude. I’m NOT a quitter. I’m a lot of things, but I’m not a quitter. What the hell is happening?

I wrote three pieces, THREE, about my funked up attitude. I was aware that I was not on the right path to achieve my goals. I wrote eleven pieces in January. Seven blog posts of the eleven were not positive entries. The others could be positive, but mainly focused more on the past. I posted on Facebook for my page ‘My Threefold’ more than 30 times in January. Most were snarky posts I made about mom-life and men. They did well when it came to getting likes. They had a lot of humor, sarcasm and relatable anecdotes, but they were mainly negative.

So here we are. A month into the new year and I’m pissed off. I’ve failed miserably at making this year the year I found my peace of mind and my happy ending. I’ve been patient. I’ve been positive {mostly} for a whole year. I’ve made the right decisions and done my best even when I was at my worst. Yet here I am, still. Searching for the lesson in all this stressing! I feel, defeated. I feel, cheated. I feel most of all like maybe I’m not ever going to get to the good part. I feel like something is missing. What have I missed? Why do I feel like this?

After a long time of self reflection and trying to find the missing piece I was still none the wiser. I know I’m impatient. I know I have been asking for a lot over the past year. I’ve received a lot, so I don’t want to sound ungrateful. I just need to know what gives? What do I need to do to make this year THE year? What more do I have to do to prove that I’m a good person who deserves to get to the good part? When do I get back some of what I’ve lost and get to live out my happily ever after fantasy? When? I’m asking with all the faith I have left!

I was sulking and pouting about life. I was mad at the world for not working with me. I was sitting in the cold, in my truck alone, feeling sorry for myself away from the eyes of my family and the ‘calm down’ that I would receive as a well meaning reply from ‘E’. I didn’t want or need him to tell me ‘it will all work out in time.’ No, I wanted my happiness now. I deserve it. That’s when I found it. The answer. The missing piece. Alone in my truck. With no one to blame for not realizing it but myself. It was obvious. Too simple.

What was I not doing? I realized I had been too busy worrying about what hadn’t happened. I was constantly waiting for the next thing to fall into place. I was setting all of these goals. I was even accomplishing many of them, but I was quickly moving to the next one. ‘What now? What next?’ I was doing everything I was supposed to do and I was getting everything I wanted. I was working for all of it. That is all true. I was going through all the motions, but I wasn’t allowing myself to feel the emotions. I wasn’t celebrating my accomplishments. I wasn’t looking at all the good that came with my accomplishments. I just went straight into my next challenge. I couldn’t see all the good that is right here, right now. I was too busy searching and waiting for the next thing to give me that quick fix of happiness. The truth is I wasn’t enjoying what I do have.

I’m not going to have it all at once. Hard happens even when we feel like we are doing everything right. Good happens even when we don’t see it. I don’t want to be so caught up in the grit and grind of goal getting that I forget the good that is happening all around me. So I’m skipping my ‘Goal Getter’ post for February. I will never stop working to be better, but I will start enjoying the person I am right now and the person I am becoming. I will celebrate my successes. I will be humble with a hint of Kanye about how there may not be an I in awesome, but there is me! I will choose to be happy with everything I have now and stop waiting for the good part. The good part is happening, and I’m too focused on the future to enjoy the present. That’s my new goal for 2022. When I accomplish that, I will have the year I set out to have. Stay positive! We’ve got this! ☮️❤️😊~M

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Pay it Forward

I don’t think I realized how much faith I had lost in humanity until this past year happened. Acts of kindness me doubt the ‘why’ behind the actions. I’be never been someone who admitted they needed help. I’ve been the type of girl who figured it out since becoming an adult. I became resourceful and I pride myself on my ability to always find a way. That saying ‘if there’s a will, there’s a way’ was written with me in mind.

If I need something or want something bad enough I am next to unstoppable. I’m persistent and stubborn as hell. I almost always get my way. That sounds like I’m an entitled brat, but what I mean is I work for it. I will grind and hustle. I will possibly pester the shit out of you about it, but eventually I will have what I want.

If you’ve been following and reading for a while you know that my family has faced some unique challenges over the past year. With a lot of strength and perseverance we made it through the hardest of times. When I say it’s been a struggle, I mean a struggle. There were times I doubted I was cut out for this job called mom. It’s not easy. That’s an understatement.

I found my faith in humanity this year. I found support in places I never would have thought. Even now, when things have begun to settle back to a manageable level of chaos, I am still receiving that support. Maybe it’s manifested, maybe it’s good karma, maybe it’s my mom looking out for me or God, I’m not sure. I just know that whatever it is I can only say that I am so grateful.

When we were at our lowest, my company donated $2000 to our family to help with expenses. A ‘go fund me’ campaign raised another $2000. My company also provided our family with over $500 in gift cards so that we would have gas money, groceries, and be able to afford to go out to eat on occasion. My boss has paid #2 every week for the little bit of work she does at our office after school, since she has to come to work with me in the afternoons after school due to her safety plan. My boss also bought #2 a homecoming dress when he and his fiancé found out we would going on our thrift shop scavenger hunt.

Last but certainly not least, is our new friend, Karthik. There was a time before the ‘go fund me’ and before the company donations that I was struggling and in a bad way. I had gone to a gas station and crossed my fingers as I swiped my card. Declined. That day Karthik put $20 of gas in my car. I didn’t ask. He just saw my desperation probably. I just needed to get to the day patient program #2 was going to at the time to pick her up. I was too prideful to ask for help, even from my own family. Karthik, just did it. No questions asked.

We frequent this gas station regularly now. We go nearly every afternoon after school on my way back to work. #2 says Karthik is her best friend. He is an amazing friend to us. He always make #2 get herself an extra treat, he asks if we need anything, he gives us hot plates, and we are always the first people he asks to try his latest creation. He refuses our money more often than not these days. When I try to pay he just voids my sale. I don’t know why he is so nice to us. He is always friendly and happy to see us. He never asks for anything in return. #2 even had me take her the night of homecoming so she could get a picture with him before the dance. He was ‘honored’.

These strangers that have come into our lives and lifted us up when we were at our lowest have restored our faith in the goodness that people have. I pay it forward as often as I can. I don’t think it’s right to receive without giving it back. I feel you have to put it back into the universe, that good it gives to you, as often as you can in order to keep the good flowing. Not everyone has an ulterior motive. Some people are just kind. Pay if forward. Stay Positive! We’ve got this! ☮️❤️😊~M

Karthik and #2 on homecoming wearing the beautiful dress my boss purchased for her.
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Beat the Odds!

The Goal Getter Guide for People Who Get Sh!t Done.

Some part of all of us who at one time or another we feel life shouldn’t be this hard or that we should have had it all together by now. We aren’t going to find the solutions to all of life problems today but we can fix a lot of our problems and start placing our bets where we are guaranteed to win. We can fix our fixation on the future, lower anxiety and still have a goal getter mindset and accomplish everything we want. This is why my way is better than what you’ve been doing and how using this method changed my life!

First things first-let it all go. That’s a stupid saying right? {I’ve always hated the straight to the point sayings.} Is it untrue though? No. that’s one of my biggest tips I can offer you. Stop fixating on the goal that there is some worry free life where everything magically works out and we get everything we want with minimal effort. Our focus may be in the future, but we want that quick fix solution NOW. Why else would millions of people pay money to play a game they are going to lose except for 99.8% of the time? Who plays that game? People will pay for a game that is nearly guaranteed to disappoint them to have the little hope they have in the moments before, the dream? What game is this? If you hadn’t already guessed what game, it’s the lottery.

People pay millions of dollars every week across the world for the smallest chance to have their numbers appear on a screen and have that hope for the moment that they could have a life that will NEVER happen for them. Harsh? No! That’s the truth! If your hope in life is that you will win the lottery you are playing a losing game. You have a better chance of marrying a millionaire, getting a record deal, inventing a multi-million dollar product, writing a successful book, or inheriting money from a long lost aunt you never knew of then it is to win the lottery. It’s a fixation on a future that is all about chance. A chance that will only be a reality for one in those millions. Sure, there’s a shot {and you can’t win if you don’t play.} but your chances are next to none.

So how do you fix that? What can you do to change your odds? Quit playing the losing hand and focus your fixation on the winning one. So what is the winning hand you have to play? Where do you place your bets? Place the bet on YOU. You took out any work other than buying a ticket when your hopes and dreams involve you winning a game that you are nearly guaranteed to lose. That’s why it’s easy to hope for a big life because you didn’t work for any of it. You went to a store and you hoped for the beat. That’s it. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that you are not going to win. The top of the known statistics about most lottery winners is they end up filing bankruptcy. My best hypothesis is that they lose it all and end up right back where they were before because they have no personal investment in the money. If you worked hard for something and earned it, then you are invested in the result. These people who put work into their achievements have priorities and want to make sure they never have to struggle like before. That’s my theory. {tell me it doesn’t make sense though.}

So we’ve learned the odds are stacked against you {and me} of winning the lottery any time soon and they are still pretty low that there is some long lost aunt somewhere that you don’t know about that has you marked as their only beneficiary, sorry I dashed your dream of being an instant millionaire with a single sentence. Let’s be the adults we are and stop hoping and wishing on the idea that we will have be the 1 in nearly 14 million that win the big jackpot in the pick 6. Also realize that the state lottery {mega millions} you have a mere 1 in nearly 276 million odds {but if this where you want to place your bets, do you boo.} So how do you become a Goal Getter? How do you get what you always wanted out of this life? How do you find success, realize your dreams, and make the type of money you want? I’m going to tell you!

Real talk. You ready? You are fixing to find out the answer of how to make this life whatever you want it to be…and it’s going to sound too easy. YOU make it! YOU create it! YOU stop telling yourself all the reasons you can’t {the ultimate C-word} and replace it with all the reasons YOU CAN. Sounds too easy and simple, but it’s true. Will it be instant? Nope. Will it be easy. Nope. But in case YOUR momma didn’t tell you, I’ll be the momma who will- “Nothing worth having in life is going to ever be easy.” I wish I had listened sooner and figured this out before 37. I would be a hell of a lot further than I am now if I had remembered this little saying and started being a Goal Getter and got it done!

How do you do it? Why try? Why work for the dreams when you’ve failed to reach over and over? Why work for something that there is no guarantee you will ever get? Why? Why? Why? Well I’m going to tell you why! You do it because YOU decide you’re worth it. I’d rather try and fail and fall but get up then sit here scared to fall and afraid of the failure that I never even try to fight for my own dreams and work for my own goals. I will always fail if I never do anything. It’s impossible if I do nothing but if I change the impossible to having the mindset of I’m possible then I have already taken the first step in reaching my success.

Before I tell you how I am going to tell you why. Why the hell should you listen to me? What do I have that makes me so ‘woke’? {that should make adults and kids alike cringe but you’ll definitely start asking why!} What makes me the expert? Why haven’t you heard of little ole me? Why should you listen to a single mom, who works a 9-6 job, who makes very little money writing, who is divorced, has children who have struggles with mental illnesses, and who is seemingly no better or who has no credentials, and who has zero experience or who is seemingly unqualified to give any pertinent life advice? Why listen to me at all? Well before I tell you how to do more than you did today I will tell you what has happened to me since I started living my Goal Getter life a year ago.

Over the past year I’ve changed my life one goal at a time. A year ago I was on the left and my present is on the right {because I am headed in the right direction!}

  • Miserable Marriage
  • Pessimistic Outlook
  • Isolated
  • Substance Abuse
  • Dying Dreams
  • 220lbs
  • Unmedicated Mental Illness
  • Unhealthy Parent
  • Anxiety Daily at 8/10
  • No energy
  • Lying to everyone
  • Negative self talk daily
  • No routine
  • Mediocre Work Ethic
  • Hopeless and Depressed
  • Trapped
  • Negative influences
  • Triggered often
  • Impatient
  • High expectations of others
  • Divorced and engaged to a good man
  • Optimistic Attitude
  • Rarely isolated
  • Drinks rarely and no recreational drug use for over 10 months
  • Rekindled passions and chasing dreams
  • 150lbs and muscle tone, down 10 pant sizes.
  • Therapy and medication management
  • Positive role model for mythreefold
  • Anxiety 3/10 regularly
  • Incredible increase in energy and drive
  • Brutal honesty in most everything
  • Positive affirmations and more confidence
  • Routine for self care, goal review, time etc.
  • 2 raises and promotion in a year with drive and passion even in my 9-6 job
  • Determined and Happy
  • Free from past, guilt, and my self-made prison
  • Cut off my negative influences and replaced them with positive ones
  • Triggered rarely
  • Patient, compassionate, and understanding
  • Heightened expectations of self and lower of others

The point isn’t that I never fail or that I don’t want to quit when it all gets too hard. The point is that regardless of how big I fail or how much I hurt from the fall my reset time to start over is nearly instantaneous and I start each day fresh. I put my all into each day and do my best. Even when I’m not 100%, I’m always going to be at my best even when I’m sick, feel myself falling, if I’m on the edge, or when I jack it all up. If all I have is 40% that day I’m ok giving my full 40%. The days I’m on my game, I am unstoppable. The question shouldn’t be why should you listen to me. It should be why not? Honestly what do you have to lose?

You may be thinking, ‘mmhmm lady, big freaking deal.’ Yep, it sure is a big freaking deal. It’s a huge deal because I changed from that person on the left who questioned everything and everyone {including myself} and made lists and empty promises to everyone {especially myself} of how I wanted to change my life, but I didn’t know how and was too scared to even start. To the person I am today. The person on the right. The person I wanted to be everyday but never knew how much I was allowing the world and the people around me convince me that the bad always would win. That’s bullshit! I haven’t accomplished all of my goals, and the truth is I won’t ever accomplish all of them. I’m going to be a work in progress for the rest of my life because I’m always going to look for ways I can be better. I don’t think I’m better than anyone else and I don’t think I’ve cracked the code of some new way of life. I just made a plan and found a way and did it. I do think the true testament is that I’ve managed to change this much despite of the many obstacles that I was facing during a year that should’ve been my worst year ever and somehow I’ve managed to have the best year despite the bad. Guess what? I did that. All of it. Me. A 37 single mom of my threefold, that walked away from a 15 year miserable marriage filled with toxicity, with only three boxes of belongings and my threefold. Five psychiatric hospitalizations in one year for my #2, a lot of therapy, tens of thousands of dollars in medical debt and a lot of missed work. I could’ve easily gone back to the mess I was before but instead I made it my motivation and my mission to break that cycle. This doesn’t mean I’m perfect. I’ll be the first to admit I f’ed it up and still do have my fair share of bad days. The difference is where I would’ve said one bad day meant I should quit and allow that one day to become my reason and excuse for going back into my hole. I fail better now. Failure doesn’t stop me. I can have a bad day or a bad week and instead of throwing my hands up in defeat I dust myself off and remember my why and keep moving forward into my future .

I can’t guarantee anything will happen or give you a timeline on your goals, but I can guarantee that you will be happier, more motivated, find your faith, and you WILL be better on every level if you decide to fix your fixation on your failures and become future focused. I’m excited about my future! Are you? You should be! Place the bets where they belong and take a chance! What could you get out of trying it my way if you just put in the work? If you want something bad enough, nothing can stand in your way except for you. Now the question you want the answer to how to become the Goal Getter who goes out and gets shit done? I’m going to give you a sneak peak at the how so we can have the best year again next year. I’m going to give you the way I’ve found that worked for me and can work for you too. I’m going to give you the tools to get there regardless of where you are now or how big the dream is. If you’re just willing to put in a little work. What do you have to lose? Nothing. What’s the worst that could happen? You stay the same? If you don’t try that’s exactly what will happen. More of the same. Imagine this for just a second {just imagine} what if you don’t fail? What if it works? What if you find your way forward? What if you start finding a way to that better future you’ve always been waiting for and decide to be a goal getter and go get sh!t done? Your chances increase exponentially with my way. That I guarantee!

For the rest of my life 2021 will be the year I broke myself apart and everything and everyone seemed to shatter with me. It was a chaotic catastrophe filled year that took a lot of caffeine and cuss words and more crazy than anyone planned for to get through. No one will truly understand how broken we were before or how we broke ourselves completely to get to where we are today. On the flip side, 2021 however, will forever be the year that we took all those broken pieces and rearranged them into the beautiful brave bad asses that we’re born through the bullish!t. 2021 was our path to beginning to discover the life we always dreamed of was a possibility.

Our bets are placed on a big and bright future that we decided to create ourselves, the one we deserve. Be on the lookout for my 2022 Goal Getter series that will give you the tools you need to have to become the best you in 2022. Plan now and get excited about the possibilities that are waiting for you in 2022!

Be positive! Be a bad ass! Find the message in the mess! You’ve got this, goal getter! You are capable of amazing things! ☮️❤️😊~M

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Oh Happy Day:

Today was an amazing day! For the first time in a week I’ve felt like almost a whole functioning person again! The lingering cough and general tiredness aside, I actually made it a whole day without needing a nap or feeling like my head would explode. Covid was no joke and I’m grateful that the worst {still crossing the fingers, and toes and my legs because I’m a damn lady} is behind me. I marked a couple Christmas presents off the list and even splurged a little on myself. That’s right, Momma got some new shoes! I found a new pair of Nike tennis shoes {I’m overdue for a new pair} for $37.95! I love a deal! I’m not a coupon lady, but I don’t buy unnecessary items {don’t look at my extensive collection of journals or my colorful pens.} without scouting out the deals. I’m a TJ Max, Good Will, thrift shop, white-trash garage sale kind of spender. If I have something expensive it’s most likely because someone got it for me. I’m not the designer hand bag and matching shoes kind of mom, but I can rock my $40 nikes and my under armour hoodie I got for $15, the messy bun, no make up, sweatpants hot mess mom look all day, every day. I don’t think I would be any different if I had the funds to support luxury spending sprees. My journal collection would be obscene and I’d most likely own every motivational knick knack that caught my eye, but my sweats, worn out tees and tennis shoes would never go away.

What I was really excited about today was getting my printed copy of my Goal Getter Workbook in my hands! It was a sense of accomplishment to see my artwork, my quotes, my words, and my vision printed on paper with a cover and bound. It was my first big ‘aha’ moment where I could fully visualize my dreams coming to life! It was a dream of mine to write and it’s one I’ve put off for years. My hopes and dreams were left collecting dust and slowly dying while I was busy being too scared to even attempt seeing them to fruition. I was scared to fail and I was scared of the judgment of people in my life or the criticism of people that know nothing about me. After all, I was the girl who secured a Facebook page years prior to posting publicly and bought my domain mythreefold.com three years before even designing my first piece of digital artwork or writing my first piece. For me to go from ‘maybe one day’ to holding my own piece of work just 7 months since starting this journey -in my hands– is the most awesome feeling. I’m patting myself on the back today and beaming with pride at my 15 page workbook. Pardon my huge goofy grin, my ego, and my excitement but I deserve to have this day to celebrate my first big moment. {insert awkward happy dance here}

I’m so pumped I’m already starting on my next creation and looking at all the opportunities available to me in this writing world. I am making moves people, best watch out for this girl, I’m a goal getter with a determination and a drive that is unmatched by many, equaled by some, and surpassed only by few! {can you sense what my family is dealing with right now? Pray for them!} I’m going to accomplish my goals and create a life that is my brand of amazing. I am open to tips, tricks, recommendations and any other constructive suggestions that may be useful as I explore the future of My Threefold. As Dr. Seuss said ‘Oh the Places You Will Go!’ Ready. Set. GO! Here I come, ready or not! It’s going to be a wild and crazy ride, but the crazy train is leaving the station! All aboard the F-yeah Freight Train! Be positive & believe in yourself! ☮️❤️😊~M

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Goal Getter: December

I’m mixing things up a bit this month and setting the bar high! December is the final month of 2021 and that leaves exactly 31 days to finish up this year and I plan to finish STRONG! I am excited about planning this month’s goals and I’m excited about closing out this final month of 2021 with a BANG! The momentum and excitement for this month is all leading up to the amazing year I will have in 2022! I’m ready for that new chapter, but before I start planning the new year I need to wrap up this year with my December Goal Getter plan of action. Are you with me? Hell yeah!

First things first! Download my Goal Getter Workbook to create your own plan of action for the month!

December is a time where we usually get wrapped up {no pun intended} in the hustle bustle of the holidays and forego all goals, agendas and anything that we had set our sights on. I believe that it should be the opposite. This should should be when we are amped up the most to achieve those goals we set 11 months prior, because when we reach them we can have that feeling of accomplishment and the satisfaction that comes with seeing a goal to completion. I really don’t know a much better feeling than the feeling of setting a goal and reaching it! It’s a feeling of self satisfaction and contentment. It’s pride, confidence, hope, and accomplishment that comes together making you see yourself as the ultimate bad ass you are. What better way to end this year than to end it with that?

If you chose to download the workbook, AWESOME! That workbook will be handy to use throughout the year. If not, well you’re on your own. {just kidding, you can make your own template and follow along} December is the perfect time to go back to those big goals you made 11 months ago and see what you’ve got left to mark off that list. Some may be old news if you haven’t looked in a while. Others may be completed. Some may need some scaling adjustments. Some may need to be completely erased as irrelevant. Regardless if you have 1, 5, or 10 goals you want to accomplish it’s possible to start here and go after them!

My Personal Plan of Action:

At the beginning of the year, I will be honest and say I was in ‘survival mode’. Goals weren’t my “thing” and I was more of a yay it worked out or , damn it it didn’t! I didn’t really put much intention or thought into how my actions could give me more yay moments and less of the damn it moments. I was on ‘auto-pilot’ just hoping for the best. Guess what? That wasn’t working for me. It hadn’t worked for me in the past 37 years and it wasn’t going to start working for me anytime soon. So I made a change. In June, I decided to become more intentional with my day to day actions and began setting small, attainable goals that I could reach. Slowly I began to challenge myself to reach greater heights and chase my dreams. Thankfully, over the last 6 months my life has nearly done a 180• from where I was starting out the year. The person I can thank for that? Myself. Ultimately, you are the only person in control of your actions, attitude and aspirations. {Having positive influences and people supporting you is definitely a bonus!}

In July, I made my goals for the remainder of the year. 6 months after those around me. {Fashionably late, per usual} You can actually look at that first goal getter challenge I set out on here: Wellness Challenge: July 21 Days to Positivity I never thought that this one month would change everything I did from that day forward. It did. It changed my life. The goals I started with are still relevant to how I now live day to day. My threefold would probably tell you how boring it is to ride with me in a car since I’ve traded in my music most days for motivational You Tube compilations and TedX Talks! Something I would’ve thought laughable in years past. Or how I meditate and force them to meditate with me sometimes. Even how I fully believe in the power of visualization and manifesting your best life. Yep, I’m not going to lie, I’ve gotten pretty encompassed in all the ways to get my goal getter get up and go…well going.

My list in July was extensive. Four handwritten pages of goals kind of extensive with all the things I hoped to accomplish the remainder of the year. My success set up to become a happier and better me. I broke them up into these categories:

  • Attitude
  • Creativity
  • Career
  • Family
  • Romantic
  • Health
  • Financial
  • Personal/Self-Care

Out of four pages of goals here is the list that I have yet to accomplish:

  • Attitude – 5/5 Goals Achieved
  • Creativity – 5/6 Goals Achieved
    1. Monetize my blog/social media
  • Career – 11/12 Goals Achieved
    1. Get rewarded financially for performance
  • Family – 6/8 Goals Achieved
    1. Quality time spent with my threefold
    2. Schedule a family night event twice per month
  • Romantic – 3/6 Goals Achieved
    1. Spend quality time with ‘E’
    2. Overthinking/Assuming
    3. Holding Grudges
  • Health -3/4 Goals Achieved
    1. Quit Smoking
  • Financial – 1/4 Goals Achieved
    1. Budget
    2. Save
    3. Donate
  • Personal/Self Care- 9/10 Goals Achieved
    1. Free myself from my past guilt and move forward into the future.

If my math is right this shows I had 55 goals I wanted to accomplish by the end of the year. So far I’ve accomplished 40 of those. Not too shabby for a girl who didn’t even have a plan last January! However, this leaves me with 15 that I want to see through to completion by 12/31/21. I’m exhausted already! No. I’m not, I’m pumped! I’m a goal getter! I’ve got this! So now it’s time for the plan. Time to break these goals down into chunks of doable and actionable pieces that will see me to the finish line!

I can mark the one off my list for creativity. Today I launched my first download for the Goal Getter Workbook! This is my first real money driven effort for my blog! Profitable or not, it’s an achievement and an amazing way to kick off my month! The next is not totally in my hands, but I’m looking forward to a raise in the coming weeks at work for all the bad-assery I’ve displayed this year! So that will be something I can check off my list this month too! As for the Family goals – I have a couple things in the works planned for my threefold and I to have some QT as soon as we get over this Corona Virus infestation that has kept us cooped up in quarantineville for the past week. I also think I can knock out my romantic goal of some quality time with ‘E’ that isn’t just Covid cuddleupits while cat napping watching crime documentaries, although that has been a highlight of quarantine! The deeper of those 3 goals are resentments, grudges, overthinking and assumptions. This is something that will take constant effort and mindfulness on my part. My anxiety tends to lean towards catastrophizing even the smallest disagreements and distorts them into these out of proportion reactions. I have come a long way with this but I know that improvements can be made and I will definitely work to stay mindful of rational and irrational thoughts. The dreaded ‘quit smoking’ this isn’t something I have wanted to do. That’s just plain honest. It’s my vice. My coping mechanism. My reward. My appetite suppressant. My stress reliever. BUT as much as it’s been my crutch for the past 15 years {yes 15 years} it’s time to pack it up. I went three days without a cigarette while sick with the ‘rona. The longest time I’ve not smoked in 10 years. Sure, I could’ve said ‘haste la vista’ then but I wasn’t mentally prepared to say my farewells. My mind wasn’t in it. I’m there now. That first cigarette after 3 days tasted like burnt coffee creamer, stale crackers and old mints. I’m over it. If I can thank Covid for anything it will be that it may have ruined my love for the taste of a menthol cigarette forever. I haven’t openly put out there that I’m a smoker, but now that it’s here in black and white I can’t deny it. If I can end this year as a non-smoker then I will be so proud of myself. I’ve tried before and failed, but I haven’t had a blog post to hold me to it. Here’s to that! Financial goals are tricky for me, especially this month with Christmas being my holiday. I love getting the gifts for my threefold and watching their faces as they light up with excitement. This year has been a struggle financially in general due to all of the unforeseen medical expenses and bills, divorce, new home, lost time at work and general life maintenance. I am resourceful if nothing else, and stubborn so I have those two things on my side. It’s best to finish strong. I’ll put my $5.00/day that I would purchase my cigarettes with into an account for some rainy day savings to start. I’ll make a budget and formulate a doable plan to stick to. For donations, we will find a way to give to those less fortunate by way of volunteering time at a local charity. That final one in personal/self-care is tricky. I am working on manifesting my desired result in finally settling a peaceful resolution and tie up the loose ends of my past. I am also working through my feelings in therapy and finding ways I can let go of my resentment and hurt from my past, along with my personal guilt. I will continue to do both. In addition I will work on not giving my energy, positive or negative, to my past. I will allow whatever feelings and thoughts to surface and rise but not allow it to dwell in my headspace or overpower my reactions. I will acknowledge and dismiss. No lingering. That’s tough, but it will be awesome to see how much more positivity can grow when it isn’t being stomped out by the negative weight of the past. And that’s a wrap! That’s it, folks! That’s my plan of action for December! I hope you have downloaded My Goal Getter Workbook and choose to end your year with as much hope and positivity as you started it with! ☮️❤️😊~M