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Goal Getter~November Recap

Let’s do a November run down as we plan and prepare for December. I always like to take a look back before moving forward. My monthly recap always has been a good chance for me to celebrate my accomplishments and also see where I can improve for the next month. I won’t go in depth with my own reflections but rather share how I created my template for each month in review and the positivity push and monthly motivation for the goal getters out there!

Monthly Recap:

I start with a fairly simple set of questions for the previous month.

  • Overall, this month I felt:
  • This month my highlights that excited me the most were:
  • How can I improve next month?
  • What lessons did I learn this month?
  • What goals did I make this month?
  • Did I reach those goals? If so, how did I reach them? If not, what do I feel stood between myself and the goal?
  • What was I most thankful for this month?
  • Challenges?
  • Strengths?
  • I am most proud of ?

Easy peasy. I’ll share my review of my November this week and tomorrow I will share my monthly motivation template and how I plan my positivity push each month to help me be the best version of me. I challenge everyone to do a big push for the end of the year. New year’s resolutions are great and all but what goals did you make this year that you could still achieve? December has 31 days waiting for you take advantage of the time and finish 2021 strong so you can enter 2022 with a fresh set of goals and the confidence in your capabilities to achieve them! Share your answers in the comments or follow on Facebook! ☮️❤️😊~M

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Covid Chronicles: Day 3 & 4 11/29/21-11/30/21

Day 3 was the day of rest apparently. I’ve never slept like I slept yesterday. My body must’ve been needing that, because I was not even stirred until close to 4:00 pm. I was asleep and no one woke me. This in and of itself is unheard of. I can’t typically take a nap around here without someone needing something. I woke up and again felt almost human. No major complaints other than some aches that could be accounted to the obscene amount of sleep I had acquired. I didn’t do anything for the remainder of the evening except untangle the most massive knot of yarn and finish the finger knit garland for our Christmas tree. My main symptom yesterday was fatigue. Still no sense of smell, but that is probably in my favor still as ‘E’ hasn’t been shy about letting those butt demons free. I wanted to write but my motivation was less than on point. I figured it would be ok to skip a day.

Unfortunately, yesterday #1 found out her boyfriend tested positive and she was beginning to show some symptoms of our new house mate Corona also. ‘And another one bites the dust!’ If you’re keeping count that’s 4/6 of the people that live in my home and another person that happens to swap spit with my daughter on occasion. That leaves #3 and the ‘BK’ {bonus kid} so far unscathed.

Today, day 4, brought some time outside of the house. That would seem like a wanted change of pace, but today I did not feel close to human when I woke up, nor did I have that ‘this isn’t so bad’ thought. No, today was the day that I felt yuckiest so far. Today was the day that ’E’ and my threefold could test to seal their fate of continued quarantine or a date for going back to school. #3 was the only one who got the all clear and as long as she does not show symptoms she can return to school at the end of the week. The other two and ‘E’ are stuck at home until next week, same as I am. Thankfully everyone is showing mild symptoms and everyone is still able to rest fairly comfortably.

Today the headache was at its most intense and it did not want to let up with the Tylenol I was taking to diminish the pain. It was relentless. I showered, but even that was not helpful. I was groggy and irritable and overall I felt like garbage. My nose feels so dry, but still stopped up which seems like a contradiction. It’s possible though. The cough is still there, but it seems to be triggered less. {unless it’s a laughing fit} Overall though it’s been an uneventful couple days. Trying to take each day as it comes and although I still want to be active and go, I am heeding my limitations and accepting my body’s call for rest.

Hopefully, everyone begins to feel better over the next few days and is able to start getting their normal energy levels back. Until then we will just continue to listen to our needs and remain positive. We are home and we are together! Everyone is trying to take care of each other and surprisingly my threefold hasn’t gone into all out war with each other…yet. ☮️❤️😊~M

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#100HAPPYDAYS Challenge

My last post was about finding a way to reconnect with my inner joy and center myself. I have worked for well over a year to “find what makes ME happy.” I’ve been on a journey to find myself. I have been allowing too many outside factors in my head and it was affecting my energy in a very negative way. I have a big issue with overthinking everything and allowing my anxiety to totally run my life and stress has fueled my motivation. I needed a reset ASAP or I was going to end up burning out, drained, and depressed. I was determined to see my way back to my happy place and find my way through what has been {in my humble opinion} the most difficult year in my life amongst a hard decade. Nearly two years ago, I had found myself a miserable, empty, emotionally wounded, and self-deprecating person who had lost all confidence, security, and had become merely a shell of a person. I was 35 years old and having a crisis of identity, purpose, and had become miserable with myself and with my life.

I remember clearly New Years Eve 2019, I decided it was time for change. I needed BIG change. I had to find something else. I wasn’t going to make a 15lb weight loss goal or promise to cook more I needed something so much more. It took me months of journaling and searching in the bottom of a bottle far too often for what my problem was. I didn’t know where to start, so I wrote, and wrote some more. I had entries that were sober and some that were not, but regardless they all had one theme. “I don’t know where this journey will take me, but I do know it’s the only way.” My first major discovery was that NO ONE was responsible for making me happy. I was. I wasn’t happy and it was up to me to fix it though I had no clue what that looked like or where to begin.

I changed jobs as I knew I was unhappy where I was. I remember how I sat in the parking lot daily at my job and had anxiety to walk through the doors. I was late everyday not because I wasn’t there on time but because I had to mentally prepare myself for going to a job I hated with people that I figured hated me too. I got a chance email with a recruitment for a National company that was local and I wondered what it was. I hadn’t heard of it before but I did some research and took the phone interview. It was like talking to a friend. I met with the manager later that week and after two hours I had a job offer. I thought about it for days. A pay cut. Was it worth it? I decided to make my first leap of faith. II figured I could be paid more and be miserable or I could get paid less and maybe do something that would make me feel more at peace. I am so glad I took that jump. I never knew how satisfied I could be with a job other than maybe a drink in hand on a beach doing exactly this, writing. {Still a goal and I WILL achieve it.}

I took that leap and then slowly saw some pieces I hadn’t seen in years. Yep I was going to find myself. My happy. Life threw the curveballs and I started contemplating what I wanted in my life and where I was headed. Who I wanted in my life and whether I could be happy if this was what changed. I came to the conclusion that Summer of 2020, in May, that I wasn’t just unhappy at work that home was the most important piece of what was making me unhappy. After fact checking, soul searching, fighting endlessly as I began to start standing up for myself and my threefold again. I decided the fight needed to be done. I should’ve left years before, but my own insecurities and fears, coupled with life circumstances and my distorted sense of self and my marriage along with who I had married and my beliefs had kept me in a loveless, disconnected, toxic, and abusive marriage for too many years too long. My threefold were my only successes in that marriage and their unhappiness and own discontent were becoming clearer with each day. I left. With nothing. I walked away looking for myself and my happiness was not ever going to be found in the confines of the prison I had been willingly residing within.

That job I mentioned…it didn’t just lead me to a happier work life. It is where I met the man who would literally turn my world upside down and inside out and totally stir up the life in me I hadn’t forgotten was an option. That job gave me my unicorn the PPP {perky positivity peddler}. My ‘E’, the love of my life. As I said before no one can make you happy except yourself. That’s still true. No one can fix you, except you. I was broken, anxiety ridden, scared, codependent and still overwhelmingly radiating toxic negativity. ‘E’ for whatever reason {my ass in those jeans} decided to see past the shattered me and began “showing” me that not all men are the same. I was waiting for him to be another reason I didn’t trust men. A narcissist taking easy prey. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop and all the red flags to start flying. I couldn’t figure it out. {seriously dude what’s your damage everyone has some.} I couldn’t find it. He had a daughter who adored him and who he treated like his most prized possession. A good relationship with his ex wife and he coparent Ed. He had a job, he didn’t excessively spend money, he didn’t have drug addiction, a record, domestic violence, CPS cases or anything. He worked hard. He had an amazing attitude and his energy was contagious for me. He was charismatic and funny. Sexy {that ass though!} He was kind and loving, affectionate and communicative. This all scared me to death. In my experience too good to be true was exactly that, untrue. It was moving on too fast. I fell in love and he made me feel like I was the only woman in the universe. He has shown me with actions and words that he isn’t running though I’ve given him nearly every reason and so many opportunities to leave. Yet still he is here, loving me. He helped me see things differently and helped me find motivation to continue to heal. I am so grateful for ‘E’.

I felt as if I was getting better but every time that life smacked me in the face with an issue I would slide back into old habits. I have had the rollercoaster I never wanted to ride this year. Ups and downs, twists and turns, and I’ve been thrown from a loop more times that I could count. From divorce, to hospitalization of two {my middle daughter of my threefold}, through diagnoses and therapy, and more stress and struggle than I’ve ever endured. I honestly got whiplash from everything. Throughout this year I’ve still worked on myself and tried to find the pieces of the broken identity that were lost and stolen from me over the years.

I’ve done pretty amazing. {in my opinion} I’ve had my days {honestly though that’s totally normal} but they were more like moments where I strayed from my positivity push. I’ve allowed those moments to come and I acknowledged what was happening then hit that reset button. My mindset has been very present and I’ve been living my life with gratitude. I’ve always been grateful, but I’ve never acknowledged all I have to be grateful for. Honestly, even in the hardest of times I found the things that were good. I knew even if I didn’t want to acknowledge them at the moment and I wanted to sit on my own pity potty that there was more good than bad. For the first time in my life I saw that those two things coincided, good and bad. This was just life, and perspective would be key.

This month I wanted to be more mindful of my good and not relinquish so much energy to the bad. My gratitude mindset started by beginning a “Gratitude Journal”. Everyday since 11-01 {two weeks since my last blog post} I’ve sat down nightly and written in this journal {which is just a cute composition book I picked up from Target} and used my own format. It’s simple actually.

  • Each entry is dated
  • I begin each entry with “Today I am Grateful For:” and list what I am most thankful for that day.
  • Then I have “My Highlights For Today” and list the best parts of my day.
  • A small notation on if I met my goals for that day.
  • Something I am looking forward to about tomorrow.
  • How can I improve?
  • Then I finish out with “My Goals For Tomorrow” that has a list of things I want to accomplish or be the next day.

It’s easy peasy and very straightforward. Each day is about a page worth of writing. Nothing too elaborate. Then yesterday while I was on my first private outing with ‘E’ that we’ve been able to have in months I came across a little book. It caught my eye with its bright yellow cover and cute font. The title said “Can You Be Happy For 100 Days?” I picked it up intrigued. At $2.99 at a bargain store I decided what could it hurt? I read the intro. Then I changed the title to “Choose to be Happy for 100 days?” and today will be day #1 on the #100HappyDays Challenge.

It’s fairly simple, pick one thing. It can be from the book or your own imagination, that makes you happy and do it. Everyone and anyone can find one thing that they enjoy and that brings them happiness each day to do. Then you simply document it by taking a picture and maybe giving a short description. That’s as easy as it gets, but I’m sure it’ll be harder than it sounds. The goal is to find things that can make you happier and be more mindful of the everyday opportunities to be happy that we miss. It’s worth a shot. So now I challenge everyone to join me in that quest. Let’s see if we can bring more happiness to ourselves and others. Take advantage of those daily opportunities and simply appreciate them. Here we go! Follow my #100dayshappy challenge on my Facebook page http://facebook.com/mythreefold and share your journey with me too! Here’s to our happily ever after! ☮️❤️😊~M

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Give Me a Break!

I’m having a difficult time. I’ve been down every alley, back road, and all along the roads of struggle this year. I’ve been through the ringer and faced a lot of hardships. I keep thinking if I just get over this _______ {fill in the blank} then it will get easier. I’m not doing something right it seems because one problem seems to lead to another then five more and I am exhausted. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired {and broke}. I’m over life being hard. I don’t want to be the strong one. I don’t want to be the resilient one. I don’t want to be the bigger person. I want to be happy. I want to enjoy life, not just suffer through it.

I’m here. I’m giving it my best shot, but I’m falling short time and time again. Where are the good parts? I must be missing them because the bad is overshadowing everything in my life. I am a crisis away {or a minor setback away} from losing my mind, my faith, and my ability to keep this train on the tracks. I’m doing my best {I think} but it’s not good enough to change the trajectory of my life. I just need some good {or a little not as bad} to happen in our lives. I need a break. I need a vacation from my problems. I need it to be someone else who manages and coordinates the crises and the chaos for a while. I’m ready to resign.

Here it comes {the pep talk} the real talk run down of how I’m going to push past my pity party and proceed with positivity. In true PPP fashion I’ve got to find a way to be happy where I’m at now instead of waiting for something to make me happier. As the quote says “You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy.” It is so easy to get wrapped up the problems and the endless to do lists that I let the good times go by without even giving them the acknowledgment of their existence. I am constantly waiting on edge for the next bad thing to happen bracing for the impact that I’ve stopped recognizing the positivity that surrounds me. I have to stop bitching about everything that is wrong and being grateful for all that is going right. It’s never going to be perfect and it’s time I change my perspective on what is going to make me happy. I’ve got to try something different, because this isn’t helping me or anyone else.

Plan of Action:

It’s November and it’s marking the beginning of the season when we all become a little more grateful for our everyday blessings. This seems like the perfect opportunity to change my current perspective on life. So how do I do that? I’m not sure either.

  1. GOAL GETTER
    • Daily Goals
    • Weekly Goals
    • Monthly Goals
  2. GRATEFUL
    • Start a gratitude journal to write three things I am grateful for each day.
  3. BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT
    • Don’t assume the worst {tough one!}
    • Think rationally and logically
  4. FIND THE GOOD
    • Look for the bright side and flip the bad and think of the good that is surrounding the current situation.
  5. QUALITY TIME
    • Spend quality time with my threefold.
    • Spend quality time with the PPP {without kids}
    • Spend quality time with the family.
    • Spend quality time with myself.
  6. MEDITATE
    • Meditate three times per day. Morning, afternoon and night.
    • Manifest the good by scripting and using visualization daily.

My hope is that by becoming more mindful of the good and changing my thinking that I can appreciate the good that is already in my life. I am confident that if I redirect my behaviors and tendencies to automatically catastrophize my current obstacles and create a new positive perspective I will find my happy even amongst the hard. I won’t be perfect but I’m competing against myself, so I’m positive that this plan is much better than totally winging it. What do you do to help improve your positivity and improve your outlook on life amidst the hard times? I am open to suggestions! ☮️❤️😊

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The Terrible Tens

I’ve heard about the terrible twos but with my threefold I swear there is something about age 10! No one warned me about the terrible tens! Age 10 in girls is when the hormones start flooding and they are at that age to be too old for barbies but they are too young to claim the independence of the teenage years. It’s like the alarms all sound and they are triggered to be these angry, irrational, emotional little monsters. {ok that’s overdramatic…not really, but maybe} I get it they are trying to find out who they are and what is really going on in the world but it’s not a fun age at all. It’s hell year. It’s hell year for everyone {even my monster} but I think it’s just part of growing up.

When 1 was 10 she was moody and started being super emotional. She was quicker to talk back and never wanted to hear anything I had to say. I thought “we’ll just wait this out, it’s fine.” The more I punished and the more I fought her the more she pushed. She stayed in that sensitive kind of rebellious {she’s always been too scared to be too rebellious or disrespectful} “phase” for a year or two. She had a wild streak at 15, but quickly turned the corner and is an awesome almost adult person at 17. I’m glad she was the first of my threefold, if this were reversed I might have sent them all to boarding school at 9. Just to be safe and not taken my chances.

Two, I wasn’t even prepared for her terrible ten years. I was blindsided by the hate she had for me. I’m not going to lie I didn’t know how to react. She made me feel like I was the worst mother on the planet. I didn’t know what to do. She was pretty mean for a couple of years but then she came back to me. Now that she is 13 I can honestly say I am looking forward to the teenage years because those pre-teen years gave me major anxiety and a lot of mom insecurities. I realized with two this might be a thing. I just wasn’t sure. 2 isn’t all roses and sunshine, but she has really matured and is growing into an independent person who is becoming an awesome young woman.

Now it’s 3’s turn. If the other two gave me gray hair then I guarantee 3 is going to be the one to make all of my hair fall out or have pulling it out. I don’t know if this is the age or the circumstances we are in or both. Probably both, but I am positive that this kid could be the one that makes me lose my mind. Everything I say she argues against. I don’t even know why she feels the need to make everything an argument! She makes messes that she fusses about cleaning up. She has tantrums worse than two year olds. She screams bloody murder when she is mad. She sneaks, hides, lies and doesn’t like anyone saying anything to her. She throws things, hits, kicks and makes everyone upset. She definitely tests all the patience I have in me. It’s almost like she is possessed. Some days she is awesome, but a few days a week it’s like the wrath of 3 is taking over the house. I’m doing my best. I think she has a lot of feelings and change that she doesn’t understand, but I also think it’s the age too. She wants to grow up, but she wants to stay the baby too. I’m hoping over the next year it settles like it did with the other two. I’m crossing my fingers. Pray for me! I’m sure she will be ok, she is a sweet girl and has a lot of curiosity. She is smart and funny. It’s just the age. {I really really hope so anyway!}

I have never been the heavy handed disciplinarian type of mom. I’m pretty easygoing and I go with the flow {or at least that’s my opinion}. I don’t like yelling, I don’t spank, and I wouldn’t be the one to be cruel. I have rules, but they’re basic and it doesn’t take much to meet the few expectations I do have. Keep your room clean, be mindful of your own messes, be respectful, schoolwork, one chore that benefits the household, keep up with your hygiene habits, be honest, communicate, therapy and take your meds. Okay…maybe that is a lot to ask a ten year old to do. I think it’s pretty straightforward and it’s the same regardless of how old you are. I mean the last two might not be applicable for everyone, but it is in our family! I have at least two out of three that tell me I’m a good mom, so I have that going for me! {get this they even say it when they don’t want something from me!}

Maybe it’s just my kids, but 3/3 seems pretty unlikely. It’s got to be a hormone thing! It’s just got to be. Maybe it’s an ADHD thing? Who knows! I’ve been through this three times now and all I can say is I am so glad my third time will be the last time I have to experience the terrible tens! Someone please tell me if they have any idea what I’m talking about! I think it’s funny I question if this is the kid. The kid that is going to be the one to be the threefold curse it’s clear though, my mom said I would get threefold what I gave to her. They as a whole are my threefold. It was never going to be one of the three. I’m doing my best and honestly I’m pretty sure there is nothing I can do except wait out the terrible tens! ☮️❤️😊~ M