Posted on Leave a comment

Goal Getter: December

I’m mixing things up a bit this month and setting the bar high! December is the final month of 2021 and that leaves exactly 31 days to finish up this year and I plan to finish STRONG! I am excited about planning this month’s goals and I’m excited about closing out this final month of 2021 with a BANG! The momentum and excitement for this month is all leading up to the amazing year I will have in 2022! I’m ready for that new chapter, but before I start planning the new year I need to wrap up this year with my December Goal Getter plan of action. Are you with me? Hell yeah!

First things first! Download my Goal Getter Workbook to create your own plan of action for the month!

December is a time where we usually get wrapped up {no pun intended} in the hustle bustle of the holidays and forego all goals, agendas and anything that we had set our sights on. I believe that it should be the opposite. This should should be when we are amped up the most to achieve those goals we set 11 months prior, because when we reach them we can have that feeling of accomplishment and the satisfaction that comes with seeing a goal to completion. I really don’t know a much better feeling than the feeling of setting a goal and reaching it! It’s a feeling of self satisfaction and contentment. It’s pride, confidence, hope, and accomplishment that comes together making you see yourself as the ultimate bad ass you are. What better way to end this year than to end it with that?

If you chose to download the workbook, AWESOME! That workbook will be handy to use throughout the year. If not, well you’re on your own. {just kidding, you can make your own template and follow along} December is the perfect time to go back to those big goals you made 11 months ago and see what you’ve got left to mark off that list. Some may be old news if you haven’t looked in a while. Others may be completed. Some may need some scaling adjustments. Some may need to be completely erased as irrelevant. Regardless if you have 1, 5, or 10 goals you want to accomplish it’s possible to start here and go after them!

My Personal Plan of Action:

At the beginning of the year, I will be honest and say I was in ‘survival mode’. Goals weren’t my “thing” and I was more of a yay it worked out or , damn it it didn’t! I didn’t really put much intention or thought into how my actions could give me more yay moments and less of the damn it moments. I was on ‘auto-pilot’ just hoping for the best. Guess what? That wasn’t working for me. It hadn’t worked for me in the past 37 years and it wasn’t going to start working for me anytime soon. So I made a change. In June, I decided to become more intentional with my day to day actions and began setting small, attainable goals that I could reach. Slowly I began to challenge myself to reach greater heights and chase my dreams. Thankfully, over the last 6 months my life has nearly done a 180• from where I was starting out the year. The person I can thank for that? Myself. Ultimately, you are the only person in control of your actions, attitude and aspirations. {Having positive influences and people supporting you is definitely a bonus!}

In July, I made my goals for the remainder of the year. 6 months after those around me. {Fashionably late, per usual} You can actually look at that first goal getter challenge I set out on here: Wellness Challenge: July 21 Days to Positivity I never thought that this one month would change everything I did from that day forward. It did. It changed my life. The goals I started with are still relevant to how I now live day to day. My threefold would probably tell you how boring it is to ride with me in a car since I’ve traded in my music most days for motivational You Tube compilations and TedX Talks! Something I would’ve thought laughable in years past. Or how I meditate and force them to meditate with me sometimes. Even how I fully believe in the power of visualization and manifesting your best life. Yep, I’m not going to lie, I’ve gotten pretty encompassed in all the ways to get my goal getter get up and go…well going.

My list in July was extensive. Four handwritten pages of goals kind of extensive with all the things I hoped to accomplish the remainder of the year. My success set up to become a happier and better me. I broke them up into these categories:

  • Attitude
  • Creativity
  • Career
  • Family
  • Romantic
  • Health
  • Financial
  • Personal/Self-Care

Out of four pages of goals here is the list that I have yet to accomplish:

  • Attitude – 5/5 Goals Achieved
  • Creativity – 5/6 Goals Achieved
    1. Monetize my blog/social media
  • Career – 11/12 Goals Achieved
    1. Get rewarded financially for performance
  • Family – 6/8 Goals Achieved
    1. Quality time spent with my threefold
    2. Schedule a family night event twice per month
  • Romantic – 3/6 Goals Achieved
    1. Spend quality time with ‘E’
    2. Overthinking/Assuming
    3. Holding Grudges
  • Health -3/4 Goals Achieved
    1. Quit Smoking
  • Financial – 1/4 Goals Achieved
    1. Budget
    2. Save
    3. Donate
  • Personal/Self Care- 9/10 Goals Achieved
    1. Free myself from my past guilt and move forward into the future.

If my math is right this shows I had 55 goals I wanted to accomplish by the end of the year. So far I’ve accomplished 40 of those. Not too shabby for a girl who didn’t even have a plan last January! However, this leaves me with 15 that I want to see through to completion by 12/31/21. I’m exhausted already! No. I’m not, I’m pumped! I’m a goal getter! I’ve got this! So now it’s time for the plan. Time to break these goals down into chunks of doable and actionable pieces that will see me to the finish line!

I can mark the one off my list for creativity. Today I launched my first download for the Goal Getter Workbook! This is my first real money driven effort for my blog! Profitable or not, it’s an achievement and an amazing way to kick off my month! The next is not totally in my hands, but I’m looking forward to a raise in the coming weeks at work for all the bad-assery I’ve displayed this year! So that will be something I can check off my list this month too! As for the Family goals – I have a couple things in the works planned for my threefold and I to have some QT as soon as we get over this Corona Virus infestation that has kept us cooped up in quarantineville for the past week. I also think I can knock out my romantic goal of some quality time with ‘E’ that isn’t just Covid cuddleupits while cat napping watching crime documentaries, although that has been a highlight of quarantine! The deeper of those 3 goals are resentments, grudges, overthinking and assumptions. This is something that will take constant effort and mindfulness on my part. My anxiety tends to lean towards catastrophizing even the smallest disagreements and distorts them into these out of proportion reactions. I have come a long way with this but I know that improvements can be made and I will definitely work to stay mindful of rational and irrational thoughts. The dreaded ‘quit smoking’ this isn’t something I have wanted to do. That’s just plain honest. It’s my vice. My coping mechanism. My reward. My appetite suppressant. My stress reliever. BUT as much as it’s been my crutch for the past 15 years {yes 15 years} it’s time to pack it up. I went three days without a cigarette while sick with the ‘rona. The longest time I’ve not smoked in 10 years. Sure, I could’ve said ‘haste la vista’ then but I wasn’t mentally prepared to say my farewells. My mind wasn’t in it. I’m there now. That first cigarette after 3 days tasted like burnt coffee creamer, stale crackers and old mints. I’m over it. If I can thank Covid for anything it will be that it may have ruined my love for the taste of a menthol cigarette forever. I haven’t openly put out there that I’m a smoker, but now that it’s here in black and white I can’t deny it. If I can end this year as a non-smoker then I will be so proud of myself. I’ve tried before and failed, but I haven’t had a blog post to hold me to it. Here’s to that! Financial goals are tricky for me, especially this month with Christmas being my holiday. I love getting the gifts for my threefold and watching their faces as they light up with excitement. This year has been a struggle financially in general due to all of the unforeseen medical expenses and bills, divorce, new home, lost time at work and general life maintenance. I am resourceful if nothing else, and stubborn so I have those two things on my side. It’s best to finish strong. I’ll put my $5.00/day that I would purchase my cigarettes with into an account for some rainy day savings to start. I’ll make a budget and formulate a doable plan to stick to. For donations, we will find a way to give to those less fortunate by way of volunteering time at a local charity. That final one in personal/self-care is tricky. I am working on manifesting my desired result in finally settling a peaceful resolution and tie up the loose ends of my past. I am also working through my feelings in therapy and finding ways I can let go of my resentment and hurt from my past, along with my personal guilt. I will continue to do both. In addition I will work on not giving my energy, positive or negative, to my past. I will allow whatever feelings and thoughts to surface and rise but not allow it to dwell in my headspace or overpower my reactions. I will acknowledge and dismiss. No lingering. That’s tough, but it will be awesome to see how much more positivity can grow when it isn’t being stomped out by the negative weight of the past. And that’s a wrap! That’s it, folks! That’s my plan of action for December! I hope you have downloaded My Goal Getter Workbook and choose to end your year with as much hope and positivity as you started it with! ☮️❤️😊~M

Posted on 3 Comments

Goal Getter~November Recap

Let’s do a November run down as we plan and prepare for December. I always like to take a look back before moving forward. My monthly recap always has been a good chance for me to celebrate my accomplishments and also see where I can improve for the next month. I won’t go in depth with my own reflections but rather share how I created my template for each month in review and the positivity push and monthly motivation for the goal getters out there!

Monthly Recap:

I start with a fairly simple set of questions for the previous month.

  • Overall, this month I felt:
  • This month my highlights that excited me the most were:
  • How can I improve next month?
  • What lessons did I learn this month?
  • What goals did I make this month?
  • Did I reach those goals? If so, how did I reach them? If not, what do I feel stood between myself and the goal?
  • What was I most thankful for this month?
  • Challenges?
  • Strengths?
  • I am most proud of ?

Easy peasy. I’ll share my review of my November this week and tomorrow I will share my monthly motivation template and how I plan my positivity push each month to help me be the best version of me. I challenge everyone to do a big push for the end of the year. New year’s resolutions are great and all but what goals did you make this year that you could still achieve? December has 31 days waiting for you take advantage of the time and finish 2021 strong so you can enter 2022 with a fresh set of goals and the confidence in your capabilities to achieve them! Share your answers in the comments or follow on Facebook! ☮️❤️😊~M

Posted on 9 Comments

Chance or Choice?

Happiness is a choice and not just left to chance? That’s not what I learned growing up or even up until my adulthood. What I was taught is that if I do the right things and follow the rules I might get lucky. If I just color inside the lines and work hard I will get the happiness that I deserve. It’s always been a requirement to do x, y, and z or to walk the straight line with your head down to reach success. I honestly thought it was luck or chance or something completely out of my control. Turns out that I was wrong and so was all the people in my life from birth to now that told me I would find happiness once I graduated college or got married or had kids or found the perfect job or my purpose or God. Sure, those things can add to your happiness, but ultimately happiness won’t ever be attained through who is in your life or what you have in your life.

It has taken me 37 years to figure out that everything I have been told was just frankly a line of shit. I am finally seeing that the energy of those around me greatly affects my own energy. When I was surrounded only by people who complained and never had good things to say about anyone or anything I was also negative seeing those perspectives as my own. Energy is contagious whether it be bad or good. I remember my ex saying “We have bad luck.” It was constantly the universe not giving us what we were entitled to. To the point that I wasn’t even grateful when I got a front parking spot at Walmart. Instead I was saying “Oh look now I’m using up all my good luck for this week.” with a sigh and a slight laugh. Once I started to be around people that are more positive and look for good even in the hard I realized it became very difficult for me to always be the “Debbie downer” or “negative Nancy” all the time. It was unsettling at first that these positive people were just…happy. No offense but there wasn’t anything different about their lives, hell some of them were having problems with relationships or family or kids, but somehow they still had this point of view that was overwhelmingly optimistic. I found it odd that I was never challenged to rethink my perspective by the negative people in my life, but suddenly these positive people were challenging me to rethink everything around me and to start looking for good.

This past year should’ve broken me, and a couple of years I would’ve allowed it to without too much of a fight. There aren’t many people who are able to handle going through a tumultuous divorce, self harm and suicidal ideation, hospitalization of their child for 20 weeks, work through their own trauma and abuse, work full time, and raise three kids with no family nearby, their dad moving away and forgoing responsibility to them financially , physically and emotionally, start a healthy relationship, battle through court hearings, mediation, and custody disputes, and coordinate all the chaos that comes with three kids as a single(ish) parent doing most of the to and from on their own. Hell, honestly pick two and have them coincide and even with support I’m sure it would be difficult. Yet somehow I’m still here standing and not just surviving with caffeine, chaos, cuss words, and crazy meds, but have thrived.

It isn’t over, life is full of surprises. I could get bulldozed by life at any point, but I’m sure of one thing I’m going to fight and I will get back up. Again. Again. And yes, again. I don’t quit when it gets hard. I survived this year with A LOT of therapy. I survived with positive people in my corner challenging me to find the silver lining of every situation. I had the people around me that were supposed to be cheering for me. I didn’t have people wallowing with me in my dark moments. Sometimes I was angry and sad and just needed to scream and cry and say how unfair it was. It was. I could have those moments but I didn’t live there for long. I have an amazing job, a healthy relationship with a positive and supportive person {who is beyond patient} and a great therapist. I have three kids who are working on themselves and who are all accomplishing their goals while they heal. I have an amazing bonus kid who calls me just to check in. A dad and a brother who always come through when I need them regardless if they are busy and live 600 miles away. I have managed to get a promotion and a raise. I have started a blog and established a Facebook and Instagram page that have gained a following. I am realizing my dreams and allowing myself to go for them. I am loving myself more and finding my own path to happiness.

I’m learning that happiness doesn’t happen to you, you make happiness happen in your life. I’m learning that how I spend each day is how my life as a whole will be spent. I am my own obstacle between the life I have and the life I ultimately want. It’s not going to just happen and it’s time I stop waiting around for something amazing to just come my way and bring the amazing to myself. The head game is as important as the physical actions. With mental illness it’s a little more difficult to learn to be present, not overthink, and to enjoy the now. My anxiety is next level some days and it seems that no matter how much I try my brain is bound and determined to over analyze every single thing going on. As important as it is to challenge the facts of the thoughts and conclusions I come to, sometimes I have to be ok with having an off day or being in my emotions. I’m not perfect so that standard is not my goal.

I would be naive if I said my goal was to be happy everyday of my life. It’s unrealistic and just not ever going to be a reality. My goal is to be content with where I am right now. I want to be able to sit with my feelings whether those are good or bad and allow myself to acknowledge them, but let them go not allow them the power over my entire day. I am competing against the me I was yesterday and trying to improve each day. I choose to stay positive and continue to allow my happiness to be the driving factor towards why I do or don’t do things. I choose gratitude for the good and am open to learn from what the bad has to teach me. That’s why I chose to do the #100happydays challenge. I want to focus on my happiness as I know if I’m happy I can speak that into others. ☮️❤️😊~M

Posted on Leave a comment

Give Me a Break!

I’m having a difficult time. I’ve been down every alley, back road, and all along the roads of struggle this year. I’ve been through the ringer and faced a lot of hardships. I keep thinking if I just get over this _______ {fill in the blank} then it will get easier. I’m not doing something right it seems because one problem seems to lead to another then five more and I am exhausted. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired {and broke}. I’m over life being hard. I don’t want to be the strong one. I don’t want to be the resilient one. I don’t want to be the bigger person. I want to be happy. I want to enjoy life, not just suffer through it.

I’m here. I’m giving it my best shot, but I’m falling short time and time again. Where are the good parts? I must be missing them because the bad is overshadowing everything in my life. I am a crisis away {or a minor setback away} from losing my mind, my faith, and my ability to keep this train on the tracks. I’m doing my best {I think} but it’s not good enough to change the trajectory of my life. I just need some good {or a little not as bad} to happen in our lives. I need a break. I need a vacation from my problems. I need it to be someone else who manages and coordinates the crises and the chaos for a while. I’m ready to resign.

Here it comes {the pep talk} the real talk run down of how I’m going to push past my pity party and proceed with positivity. In true PPP fashion I’ve got to find a way to be happy where I’m at now instead of waiting for something to make me happier. As the quote says “You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy.” It is so easy to get wrapped up the problems and the endless to do lists that I let the good times go by without even giving them the acknowledgment of their existence. I am constantly waiting on edge for the next bad thing to happen bracing for the impact that I’ve stopped recognizing the positivity that surrounds me. I have to stop bitching about everything that is wrong and being grateful for all that is going right. It’s never going to be perfect and it’s time I change my perspective on what is going to make me happy. I’ve got to try something different, because this isn’t helping me or anyone else.

Plan of Action:

It’s November and it’s marking the beginning of the season when we all become a little more grateful for our everyday blessings. This seems like the perfect opportunity to change my current perspective on life. So how do I do that? I’m not sure either.

    • Daily Goals
    • Weekly Goals
    • Monthly Goals
    • Start a gratitude journal to write three things I am grateful for each day.
    • Don’t assume the worst {tough one!}
    • Think rationally and logically
    • Look for the bright side and flip the bad and think of the good that is surrounding the current situation.
    • Spend quality time with my threefold.
    • Spend quality time with the PPP {without kids}
    • Spend quality time with the family.
    • Spend quality time with myself.
    • Meditate three times per day. Morning, afternoon and night.
    • Manifest the good by scripting and using visualization daily.

My hope is that by becoming more mindful of the good and changing my thinking that I can appreciate the good that is already in my life. I am confident that if I redirect my behaviors and tendencies to automatically catastrophize my current obstacles and create a new positive perspective I will find my happy even amongst the hard. I won’t be perfect but I’m competing against myself, so I’m positive that this plan is much better than totally winging it. What do you do to help improve your positivity and improve your outlook on life amidst the hard times? I am open to suggestions! ☮️❤️😊

Posted on Leave a comment

Rest. Relax. Recharge.

This weekend has to be one for the record books. No we didn’t break the time on cleaning house or master new skills. I simply gave in and submitted to the sleep I have been desperately needing for months now. I’m not sure I have ever slept as much as I have over the past 48 hours and I’m not sure how I can still feel exhausted after sleeping as much as I have. I am not sure how I have managed to be able to sleep and not be awoken because of this or that or phone calls or hunger or anything. It’s miraculous. I love sleep. However, I have allowed it to be an unattainable and elusive goal these past few months.

Friday I managed to get 7-8 hours which although I used to be able to sleep like that regularly has not been a reality for me in months, maybe even close to a year. Saturday I worked but felt exhausted all day despite my decent night sleep. I came home and took a 3 hour nap. I got up fixed dinner and was back to sleep by 11:30pm. I slept another 10 hours, YES! 10! Obscene. Then slept again and again and again. I’ve had maybe 4 hours total awake hours all day. Those were spent in bed, or lounging, snacking, or snuggled up against the man who stayed in bed with me, and writing of course.

I’m preparing myself for the stress and anxiety of the weeks to come. School is about to start back bringing with it lists and shopping and bills. Meetings with lawyers and new routines. I’m hoping for a discharge date for 2 soon, though that may not be happening just yet. I’m anticipating doctors and nurses and therapists calling with updates, medication authorization, and treatment plans. I’m looking at coordinating 1’s senior year. I’m preparing for facilitating communication between school and hospital so that 2 is on track for her 8th grade year when she is released. I am bracing myself for 3 not wanting to get back in the school flow and go to bed on time and the early morning struggles to make it to the bus stop on time. With everything getting ready to come at us full speed I think my body decided it was time to relax and recharge because this weekend is the second to the last of summer break. Next weekend no doubt will be spent prepping for the first day.

Today I am going to be grateful for the rest. I am grateful of the reprieve sleep brings from the everyday hustle and bustle of life with my threefold. I am not going to feel guilty for letting myself fall into bed and sleeping this weekend away. Sometimes I forget that it’s ok to stop and relax and give myself the time I need to recharge. Sometimes it’s ok to say “No” and focus just on what my body is telling me that I need. Sometimes pushing through the tired and the stress is not the answer. I am grateful I have allowed myself to take a break this weekend and not forced myself to push through.