Tag: #motivation

Posted on by — Leave a comment

The Over IT Over Haul…My Decision to Make 2023 For Me!

There is a song that plays incessantly on the radio. You’ve heard it either via TikTok, your own indulgence in pop music or because your children also control your play list when in the car. If not, then consider an upbeat tune that has a happy and fast pace beat. Once you’ve got that down, listen to the words. “Do you ever get a little bit tired of life? Like you’re not really happy but you don’t wanna die?” That’s the one. The song, entitled, “Numb Little Bug” by Em Beihold.

If it wasn’t a hypothetical question I would scream from the rooftops; “YES!” However, it is hypothetical, and no one actually cares when a mom says “I’m over it!”

Honestly, that phrase is a daily mantra spoken at my house, and expletives can be added for a more realistic and dramatic impact where needed. I’ve decided, therefore, I’m in need of an over haul. Welcome to my over it over haul and my decision to make 2023 for ME!

Over What? Over IT!

I am so over “it”! Over what? All of it. The constant battle for balance. The incessant worry. My insecurity. Obsessing over money, kids, and work. I am exhausted. I have completely pushed myself to burn out. I am burnt out and ready to burn it down to the ground. It’s time for an overhaul. An over it over haul!

Imperfect and Inspired

I’m getting absolutely nowhere waiting for everything to stop being so difficult. I’m not perfect, but this “all or none” attitude I have adopted is hindering my ability to make the changes I need to and stick with them. If change is what needs to take place, then I’m where it has to take place.

I’m an old fan of the quote “BE the change you want to see…” A quote that came from an interpretation of Gandhi’s quote about being a mirror to the world.

Another inspirational quote that I use often to motivate me to be more present and positive is, “You can’t wait for life to not be hard anymore, before you decide to be happy!” Which is a quote from Jane Marczewski. In addition, it is one that reminds me of my brother, as he introduced me to this quote amidst some an extremely difficult time for me.

You may remember a previous post I wrote back in 2021. It was entitled Journey to Positivity. My other creation was my Goal Getter Guide, in which I shared how I managed to reach my goals despite the challenging circumstances that were complicating my daily life.

Overhaul Objectives

The previous posts I have written and the steps I took prior to this point are all relevant to this process. They were designed to help me level up and guide me through my journey. They served me well. This overhaul is designed to help rediscover that path. I am looking to realign with my desires. I am looking for opportunities, risks, and actions I need to take in order to make forward progress towards catching my dreams; not just chasing them.

Now, I am giving the objectives I plan to accomplish with this overhaul. I’ll say that healing and self growth are an evolving process. I am constantly thinking of ways I can better myself as a person, be more content, and how I can keep momentum in my self-awareness journey. There is no “quick fix,” and life doesn’t come with an “easy” button.

Objectives

  • Realign with my purpose, goals, and desires.
  • Find a routine/schedule that is prioritizing my needs and allowing balance in all aspects of my life.
    • Selfcare
    • Family
    • Marriage
    • Hobbies
  • Set and achieve goals that are important for my continued success.
  • Create more opportunities for my future and the future of my family.
  • Communicate with an openess to receive criticism, improve, and to grow.
  • Continued healing and mental health improvement
  • Finding peace of mind, contentment, and positivity by silencing the inner critic.
  • Create solutions to the problems that weigh on me that are in my control.
  • Learn to better control my emotions, my reactions, and my assumptions.

Forward Trajectory

In short, I am capable of making changes to reach my desired destination. I am stubborn. I am competitive, and I am driven to be the best version of myself for myself and also for those around me. I am particularly passionate about my self growth and healing journey. I will accomplish my goals. I am deserving of more than what I give to myself. I am in control of my narrative, my attitude, my actions, and reactions. I am ultimately responsible for overhauling any behavior that is not aligned with my desired path.

Now I plan. I will let you know how I propose to meet these objectives and reignite my passion without burning out. It’s time to say “I’m in it” and not “I’m over it.” Therefore, I’m ready for this overhaul. I wish you all the peace, love, and happiness in your journey! Check in on Facebook for my daily updates on the over it overhaul. As always, me and you, we’ve got this! ☮️❤️😊 ~M

Posted on by — Leave a comment

The Christmas Comedown

The Christmas Comedown, otherwise known as post holiday dysfunction at my home. I wrote about something similar last year and called that post The After Christmas Crash. I must not be alone in this aftermath effect of the hustle and bustle that leaves us feeling a bit like a deflated balloon after a party. Obviously, it is a reoccurring event that now I must find my way through each year.

Post Holiday Dysfunction

This is not a diagnosis in the DSM or even an actual medical term in any way. Its just my description of the feeling that comes after being hyped on Christmas cheer, chaos, and anxiety for weeks and then suddenly the crash happens. We are no longer amped up with this adrenaline, increased serotonin, or oxytocin that our bodies have produced to get us to Christmas day. The side effects of our bodies not producing the same amount of chemicals that our crazy Christmas countdown did leave us feeling in a slump.

The hustle bustle of the holiday season is what keeps us going. The days right before we are overstimulated and overwhelmed with all of our to-do lists. However, the days after, it’s almost like we are missing something. In my opinion, we are. We are lacking those stress responses that keep us energized enough to wrap 27 gifts in the early morning hours. We know longer have the alarm bells of moving elves, finding that last minute deal, or scheduling the seven Christmas visits we need to make.

Substitution or Satisfaction

As a mom, I know, there is always the next thing to start doing. Eventually, a new problem to solve will arise or a child will have something else for us to figure out. The slump of emptiness and unmotivated restlessness will fade away probably sooner than we realize. In the meantime, we are forced to find a way to either substitute the lack of endorphins or find a way to be satisfied with the slower pace.

Substitution

I will be the first to admit that relaxing and just allowing things to settle isn’t my strong suit. I wish it was. I’d love to be more like my husband who can find peace in a TV remote and a comfortable bed. For me, I’m looking for the next thing I need to do.

I don’t just relax very often. I feel restless, stagnant and pretty irritated when there is nothing to do. I can also admit that although I don’t want to get out, I want to not sit still. I don’t want to clean my house, but I want some tasks to do. I’m not sure that makes sense. However, I think that is me thinking that doing nothing is equal to laziness. I know there are many things I could do, but I am just looking to procrastinate those as I wait for the motivational push to actually get them done. That usually only comes with those stress chemicals our brains release when our back is against the wall.

Instead of relaxing into the moment, I overthink myself into this ball of stress and irritation. I find the fight instead of just allowing the battles won to be celebrated. I look for the substitution in order to get the fix of adrenaline and endorphins that my body became accustom to receiving during the stressful holiday season.

Satisfaction

Contentment is one of those things I long for, but to be honest, it also sounds boring. I want a lot, I expect a lot, and I do a lot to try to get what I want. However, I do want to learn to be present and just enjoy the now. I don’t want to plan out the next 5 years daily nor make lists of all the things I need to accomplish. I don’t want to plan for unlikely hypothetical situations or assume the worst. Hello anxiety. I want to be able to just be. No strings attached. Unfortunately, this is a skill that has been elusive to me for years.

I should be counting my blessings, celebrating my wins for this year, and enjoying some time where the kids all are happy and content playing with their new gifts and gadgets. How do I curtail this Christmas Comedown and post holiday dysfunction?

Combatting Christmas Comedown

You guessed it. My own concoction of how to combat this Christmas Comedown.

  • Take some time to do something for yourself.
    • Meditate
    • Buy yourself a gift
    • Read, write, or take a nap.
  • Enjoy time with family
  • Accomplish a to-do you’ve been putting off.
  • Get out of the house for fun instead of out of necessity.
  • Celebrate your wins.
  • Go on a date.
  • Exercise.
  • Meet up with a friend.
  • Have a dance party or scaryeoke.

The short and long of it is to do something fun both for yourself and with others. Enjoy your holiday successes or just celebrate that you survived another Christmas! Either way, it’s done and we have nearly a whole year before we have to be all Christmas Carol, the elf moving, Christmas magic making, PTO participating, merry and bright decking the halls Santa’s helpers again. Count your blessings. As always, we’ve got this! ☮️❤️😊~M

Posted on by — 1 Comment

Whinesday Wins this Week

Welcome to Whinesday! If you don’t hear enough whining and want to hear mine, stay tuned. I had much different plans, but ya know life. It throws the punches and I get to ducking, dodging, bobbing and weaving. Then I fight back. I would much rather be celebrating a Winsday. Unfortunately, Whinesday wins this week. In conclusion, I need wine and to do my own whining.

I’m NOT Limitless

I’ve heard every whine and been given enough snarky attitude my teenage daughters and preteen could muster. Normally, I’d find some solace in a moment of silence. You know the one. The bargaining with God to just cut you some slack before you make those spoiled kids see that light. This is my personal “come to Jesus” attitude. It consists of the snarky remarks and quick wit aimed indirectly at their every pity party moment.

I’ll spare the aches and pains of teenage girl trauma, drama land that I have the pleasure of residing in on a day to day basis. My patience, and I believe my husband would agree, falls either at near saintlike or ‘b*tch I wish you would I’ll burn your mf’ing clothes…real talk’ Honestly I don’t have that middle ground. Once its all used up, it’s DONE and momma has no qualms about being that mom either.

Share the Love with a Mother!

This one is for my other mommas in current battle, in post victory <or defeat> and for the other mothers. I desperately need some judgment, encouragement, skills, classes or keep your sanity strategies to get my life out of fight or flight and back on the winning Wednesday side of this war against the whine!

Self Assessed Hot Mess

I’ve carved out my strengths and my weaknesses as a mom, woman, human. I’m not scared of self criticism. Honestly, I know I’m a hot mess riding the my threefold bipolar express. The ride ain’t easy, nor is this mom life we live. Help a mother out!

Strong as a Mother

  • Understanding and empathetic.
  • Sees the best in <most> people
  • Giving of myself…love, body, mind, spirit, money, blood, sweat, tears, peace of mind and sanity. Not to mention my socks, my hoodies, snacks, caffeine, mascara and other life sustaining mom necessities.
  • The fixer. The chaos coordinator extraordinaire. The ultimate unconditional love and support of a mom.
  • I work my a double the s off for the money to meet their needs AND their wants as often as I can.
  • I’m not asking for perfection just the R-E-S-P-E-C-T I deserve as the giver of life, love, financial support, Nike shoes and fancy salad lunches. Not to mention the very comforts these children have access to these days.
  • I’m ALWAYS there. Every game, concert, award, meeting, conference and appointment. They can rely on me to be there and if I’m not, there is someone I have assigned to my role for that day.
  • I talk, openly, about our past, the good bad and the ugly, whenever they need me to. I give them space and listen. I give advice.
  • I’m honest. There is no sugar and no pretend. I’m real. Authentic. Weird.
  • My home is open to their friends. If they are all at my house I know where they are and *mostly* what they are doing.
  • I value presence and time with my kids.
  • I am open to their thoughts, opinions, and views. I’m accepting of their personal views. I respect their feedback.
  • I am a mom who will fight for them, with them and sacrifice to make sure they don’t have more trauma to unravel later in life.

Fixer Upper

  • I am intolerant of lying. It’s a guarantee that I will second guess.
  • I overthink, overanalyze and overall am a bit dramatic.
  • My mood swings have moodswings.
  • I feed off the energy of others…good and bad.
  • I’m quick to get defensive if attacked.
  • I tend to see the worst case before seeing the silver lining.
  • I’m overly money conscious. You may get Nike shoes, but I’m thrifty. Coupons, hand me downs, thrift shops, and outlets are my options.
  • I procrastinate.
  • I hyperfocus on work.
  • I run myself down to the point I need to check out to check back in at times.
  • I cuss like woman who has worked with men and in construction her entire life. <I have and still do>
  • I’m easy on my kids. I hate long punishments. I back down or slack after a bit of time.
  • I do put them first, above anyone else…even myself.
  • I have the guilt of all of our pasts weighing on me always.
  • I have a hard time drawing boundaries.

So…I’m the mom who grounds you for a week and let’s up after a few days. I’m the mom who will give you all the rope I have then free you when tangled it. I let it slide, but then get overly upset when that slide gets too slippery. I love them enough, but feel like it’s not enough to make up for their pain. I’m the safe place, but I am worried that makes me more of a friend. I’m the good cop, the bad cop, the judge and the jury. With three girls I’m constantly told this one is not held to the same standard as the others.

It’s a never-ending back and forth power dynamic. I want what all moms want, right? Take care of your own stuff, take care of our stuff, clean up your messes, do your best in school, help out for the money you want to spend, and treat the people in your life with respect. That and peace on earth, the usual, no biggie.

That’s my long whine this Whinesday. However, I’m hoping to have a Winsday soon. I need a win for the home team, and this momma is tired. Mommin’ ain’t easy! Real talk. However, there is no give up or surrender for my threefold and I. We’ve got this! Withe some mom tribe tips of the trade I’m sure I’ll be back to Winsday in no time! Comment below your motherly words of wisdom! Message me on Facebook or send me email. Until next time! ☮️💙😊~M

PS: Happy FALL y’all! 🍁🍂🍁

Posted on by — Leave a comment

Goal Getter: 2021 in Review

It’s the new year, but we have to look back to move forward. It’s time to recap the year and plan for the year ahead. I know I have a goal getter mindset that is determined to achieve my goals. It’s not going to just happen. We have to stop sitting on the sidelines of our life and waiting for something or someone to push us into the action. You have to pursue what you want, it’s not just going to smack you in the face even if it is right in front of your nose. Don’t be so busy waiting for it to happen to you that you don’t realize when it’s there waiting for you to just take it!

I challenge you to take some time to reflect on the past year. How honest can you be with yourself? Can you get introspective and reflect on your year? Some questions are going to be easy to answer. Others, however, will require thought if you want to get to the hard truths that could lead you to find the answers of why you haven’t reached your goals in the past. I know this exercise has been challenging for me and cathartic as well. Pen to paper with brutal honesty always makes me realize my strengths and my flaws. That honesty make me motivated to improve upon my life and helps me to develop my plan for my self growth.

The following are the questions I use when recapping my month and making my assessment of myself. I just expand on them for the year in review. My answers to these questions help me to formulate my goals for the next set of questions.

  • Overall this year I felt:
  • My highlights from 2021?
  • How can I improve in 2022?
  • What lessons did I learn in 2021?
  • What goals did I want to achieve in 2021?
  • Did I reach my goals?
    • If no, what stopped me? If yes, how did I do it?
  • What was I most thankful for in 2021?
  • My strengths this year were:
  • My challenges this year were:
  • This year I was most proud of:

That is the same layout I use each month in my personal journal. The next set of questions will be how to format your goals for the new year.

  • What do I expect this year?
  • What do I want? {really want not the bs you think you’re supposed to say.}
  • What goals do you have for the year?
  • What plan do you have to reach them?
  • Why are these goals important for you to reach?
  • How will your life change once you reach these goals?
  • What challenges do you foresee that could halt your progress? What is your plan to overcome them?
  • How much time are you planning to commit to reach these goals?
  • How will you keep yourself accountable and track your progress?
  • How do you plan to stay motivated?

It’s important to remember that it’s not a goal if it is dependent on an outside factor. A proper goal is not ‘to get a raise’ however, you can say ‘I will be on time to work each day, complete my job duties to the best of my abilities and increase my sales by 3% over last year’. You now have a great set goals that will, when achieved, have the foundation to support why you deserve a raise. I hope that makes sense!

Now, go make some time and get ready to go after your goals. You are the key ingredient to your own success, but you are also the number one obstacle that stands between you and that same success. It’s all about progress, not perfection. Resolutions are broken usually by February, but goals those are more concrete and though they evolve they remain priorities throughout the year! Stay positive! You’ve got this! ☮️❤️😊~M