Tag: #real

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B-ROKE $$$ To BIG Bucks

Good Morning! 😘 I am leaning on the My Threefold tribe of mommas to get a little advice on my plan of action! Maybe I can gain some insight from the opinions of you guys! My kids are breaking me! I’m not just broke trying to support my boogie little beauties, I am B-ROKE. I’m attempting to sell the B off from the remainder of the word, kind of b-roke. 🤣🤣 However, I have a plan. I just need some feedback!

It would seem that my children, like most, don’t have a concept of how much money they receive each week for these items. Somehow, it’s never enough. I get calls saying “Momma, I need ….” A text request for my drive home from work, and empty promises filled with cleaning fairy dust and the return of the bowls from the burial ground under the beds in their room. Girls, are gross too, my friends, so freaking gross! 🤢🤮🤢

I am scared to see the results, but for the next week I am going to track exactly how much my kids spend on “luxury” items. I’m not talking about toilet paper or laundry detergent I’m talking about extra lunch/snack money for school, the fast food, requests for makeup, spending money, etc. All the crap they think they need to live their lives to the fullest, like Spotify premium or the unlimited data with 5g LTE, wifi, and the other seemingly priceless items some magical money fairy bestowed on our family of freeloaders! 🙄🙄

Once I show them how much they spent on their personal requests, I intend to show them how much it requires to provide the basic necessities like shelter, electricity, and those 30 minute blood of the dragon showers. The umpteen rolls of toilet paper that I feel are wadded around their hands in cast like fashion to protect their hands from the germs down under. I mean we do have soap, and ya know after you go around twice with Charmin it’s just a blanket you are using to soak up the pee! 💩💩💩 have no doubt that their cost of living is no where near the number they believe it is. They think they don’t have enough, but I see excess and moreover, wastefulness. I’m sure they aren’t intentional in their lackadaisical attitude surrounding their spending habits, just oblivious teenagers. 😒😒

My next step will be to show them how many hours I must work to provide them each the lifestyle they have grown accustomed to living at home. It’s time they see that money isn’t just waiting around for good use. In fact, it is very much earned by my hardworking, blood, sweat, tears, and my time away from them.

I am NOT trying to shame my kids for wanting more, but teach them that the price of tea and fine china 🥄🥄🥄 come with more than just a price to my financial account, but also to my physical and emotional bank account. 🤪😴🤑
The intent is to instill the value of a dollar earned. As a result, I hope they learn to be grateful, less entitled and more appreciative of the work that I put in to meet all of their needs. I don’t ask for much on return. I want respect, both of myself as their sugar momma, and of the property in which I have worked to acquire. Honestly, I think cleaning your room, keeping your own messes cleaned up, and completing one task that contributes to the household per day isn’t a BIG request. 🤔

How do you handle/did you handle chores, allowance, and get the compliance of your family? I don’t like to fight, I won’t argue or beg. I’m to the point, do it or don’t, but when you come asking I’ll mirror what decision I saw you make when I asked for your help.
😤🥱😫Mommin’ aint easy, but together, me and you, we’ve got this! ☮️❤️😊~M #makeitcount #moneymoves #keepingupwiththejoneses #mybrokebougiebrats #helpamommaout #mythreefold #broke

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Meet the Critic

At my darkest and loneliest times, she is there. In the silence of the night, she is there. When I’m at my weakest, she is there. She is with me when I walk into an uncomfortable situation. After a heartbreak and in my grief, she never leaves me. When I’m on cloud nine, and hopeful she shows up. When I’m anxious and unsure, she is talking to me. When I’m hurt and angry, she supports my feelings. She validates my actions. She gives me the option to run away. She remembers everything I’ve ever said. She knows my past. She knows my weaknesses. She takes pictures, so I remember what we’ve done together and all of our experiences. She is the one who hasn’t ever abandoned me, and the one never stops showing up.

I’m sure you’re wondering who this is. Maybe a mother, a daughter, a sister, a lover, or a friend. She is none of these and all of these. She isn’t anything and she is everything. She is the voice inside my head that I fight to silence every day.

You may think that you know her, but let me explain. She isn’t there supporting me or empowering me to keep going. She wants me to stay this way so she can thrive while I struggle to merely survive.

Who Are You?

You won’t meet her, but im sure you know someone just like her. You can’t see her, but her voice is always there. You probably aren’t a fan if by chance you know her as intimately as I do. Consider this your proper introduction. However, I don’t know if you will understand.

She steals the spotlight, demands to be heard, and aims to hurt anyone who dares to silence her. She is the one who tells me that I’m never going to be enough. She shows me the worst parts of the people around me. She drives them away, then tells me “see they don’t love you. Otherwise, they would stay.” She manipulates my feelings and twists my words. She tells me the worst-case scenarios and keeps me fearful of my every move.

Where Did She Come From?

Sometimes, she sounds like my mother, telling me I will never be pretty enough, thin enough, smart enough, good enough, or just enough. Other times, she sounds like my abusers who made me believe I was always to blame. In my head, she can make anyone sound like a hurt from my past. She has pictures and videos she can play to remind me of every hurt I’ve ever endured. She holds the buttons to my triggers. She is persistent and doesn’t care about the consequences.

I know she is made up of the broken pieces of my past. She is the child who felt unwanted. She is the teenager dying to fit in. She is the young mother looking for a way out. She is the abuse survivor. She is a traumatized woman. She is bleeding in the shower. High in the bathroom. A thief. A covert narcissist. An abandoned young adult. A lonely wife. The mother who was too scared to fight back and save her children. She is the addict. She is the worst part of me. That’s who she is. She is the version of myself I’m scared to become and equally terrified she is the real version I keep hiding from the world.

Change Her, Break Her, Abolish Her

I have tried to allow her visitation and then quickly see her out. However, she is relentless. At times, she is the only one who validates the unfairness of this life. She allows me to be not okay. It’s oddly comforting to be able to wallow and grieve a life I didn’t live. However, she aggravates those wounds I am trying so hard to heal. She breaks them back open and makes them bleed.

The past suddenly becomes present, and she revels in the power to overtake me. She feeds on my pain. It is as if my own mind is going to destroy me slowly. She holds me hostage. I struggle to break free. No matter how hard I try, I haven’t found a way to rid myself of her.

Fighting to be Free

You may think I’m just negative or that I’m weak. I’m the exact opposite. I am strong because I fight this voice that prays on my downfall each day. I’m successful in defeating her, but she knows when to strike. She pulls me to the darkness and holds me captive to her cruel onslaught of verbal blows.

I’m unsure if others fight off this toxic voice made up of their past. However, I know it’s lonely when it’s her and I. Maybe another person wont feel alone with no one who understands that the voice inside your head is sometimes hardest to silence. Even now, years into healing I still struggle to find my healthy escape from her torture.

Now you’ve had an introduction. If sometimes you see me cloaked in fear, paranoia, resentment, anger, or anxiety, please know I did not choose this for myself. I don’t need your attention, but meet me with compassion instead of judgment. I’m broken, and this is what repeated trauma has left behind for me.

It’s not easy. Sometimes, it’s the hardest battle I fight in a day. It is a battle of dismissing my past negative and limiting beliefs. I try now to remind myself of the 3 years of work I’ve put into my healing. However, I fight every day for the future I want, not to stay prisoner to the past, I escaped. I hope you, too, can find healing, and one day, I hope there is comfort in silence instead of her voice telling me how I will never fully overcome the trauma of my past. You and me, we’ve got this! ☮️ ❤️😊~M

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A Heartbreaking Letter to Santa

Dad is the REAL Grinch

My heart is broken. I am angry and sad. Tonight, my daughter {#3 of my threefold, age 11} wrote her letter to Santa. She admitted she wants a lot for Christmas, but what she wanted most was to be able to see her dad. This shouldn’t be a request, a gift, or even a thought. You would assume that it would be an easy Christmas wish to grant. However, it’s not. This is because her dad, is the real Grinch.

The man she calls dad is not going to see her this Christmas or any of the three daughters that bear his name. It’s sad. It’s sad, because while he lives and breathes and walks this earth each day, he has chosen not to be a dad. The calls are rare, the visits are nonexistent, and the manipulation is heavy. Instead, drugs and toxic cycles of abuse and manipulation are his legacy.

Snapshots of Dad

The man she knows as dad chose drugs over being a parent. He chose his own selfish desires over being a dad. He chose a life that has no place for children and no room for a relationship with them. Its sad. Tragic and heartbreaking. My 11 year old wants a dad that he cannot be for her or her sisters. She compares him to the grinch. Bad on the outside, but deep down he is good. However, no matter how much we struggle even in “recovery” he refuses to be a participant in parenting.

A year ago he had money to spare from his 100k  inheritance and sat unemployed. He smirked as he bought a new motorcycle, drums, camera, phone, computer and the list goes on.He went on vacation and to concerts. He bought drugs and partied regularly. Meanwhile, I struggled to pay our rent and buy Christmas for my threefold.

6 months ago, he had already pawned everything he owned. The one thing he had left was the car that he traded his 2022 Harley in for. That car became his home.
This man who had physically, emotionally and financially abused mythreefold and I called ME for help and because I wanted to be better, I helped. I checked him into rehab. Drove him to the facility and even bought him the things he needed. I housed his belongings and kept his friends updated. I had divorced him, moved on with my life, but still tried for my threefold.

After Rehab, I got him into a sober living facility. A week in and he left. He showed up at my door and demanded his belongings. I told him we were done. I stood strong as he towered over me in my own yard. I called the police and he left.

All of this followed by a week of hell and we were scared as he sat stranded without gas money just a few miles from our home. Finally, he was rescued by a friend and he left town. He had vanished 500 miles away to live with his younger brother on the opposite side of the state.

Wish Ungranted

Months went by and we hadn’t heard from them. Last month, he began communicating with #3, the only one that still has affection for him. The one that still wants to believe his lies and sees hope in his darkness. The one that sees the good inside the grinch. I wish I could fix the bad, but I can’t. Mom is not made of magic.

Now, this. A letter to Santa. After 28 weeks of combined trauma care and crisis intervention for my youngest two daughters. I work my life away to provide the life we have. Up to 50 hours per week, side hustles, and resourcefulness. I don’t receive financial support from the government, nor do i get support from him. This is my hard work, blood, sweat and tears. Its that of the man that stepped up. This is 50k in medical debt, scrounging for grocery and bill money, a vehicle with a blown engine and prayers for a Christmas miracle that includes gifts under our tree. This. A gift I can’t give. The Christmas wish I won’t be granting. Although she understands, she doesn’t see how much I want to give her the dad she needs him to be, not the grinch he chose to be.

Per the request of readers & followers of My Threefold donations for My Threefold can be made via cash app $mythreefold or venmo @my3threefold. ☮️❤️😊~M

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To the Man that Stepped Up

To the Man that Stepped Up

To the Man that Stepped Up


— Read on mythreefold.com/2021/06/20/to-the-man-that-stepped-up/

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39 Lessons I’ve Learned Along the Way

Today I am 38 {but let’s keep that a secret.} Throughout the years, I’ve learned a few lessons along the way. Even though some of the lessons were easier than others, they’ve been lessons worth learning. Honestly, some I’m still learning. Others I have acknowledged but haven’t quite put them into action in my own life. Unfortunately, several lessons I had to learn the hard way. Whatever the case, I felt I should share 39 lessons I’ve learned along the way. {38 plus one to grow on!}

We’ll see if anyone else can relate. Hopefully, if I can save another person from the taking the hard route to learn these lessons or at the least give someone a laugh! You know or just acknowledge to the universe the message is received. Even if not all implemented, I did however, learn the lesson!

39 Lessons I’ve Learned

  1. Waiting on things to go as planned or for you to have your ducks in a row is never going to happen. Just do it. The rest will fall into place.
  2. You can be pissed off or you can be happy. 9 times out of 10 your attitude will determine the result and response.
  3. Positivity is a hell of a lot more attractive than negativity even if the negativity is more relatable.
  4. No one cares. No one. Honestly, if your waiting for anyone to give a shit about your problems, they won’t. After all they have their own problems to deal with.
  5. You can’t make everyone happy. You aren’t pizza. Not everyone wants a slice of what you’re serving!
  6. In addition, no one can make you happy, that’s your responsibility alone.
  7. Asking for help is a hell of a lot easier than stressing out about how you are going to do it solo. What’s the worst that happens? They say no, and you do it alone? Well that’s your plan now, so it won’t hurt to ask.
  8. What happened to you isn’t your fault. Healing it, however, that’s up to you.
  9. You are more critical of yourself than anyone else is. Period.
  10. Pretending to be ok isn’t for everyone around you, but because you don’t want anyone to think you’re weak.
  11. Don’t doubt karma. What goes around comes around. One day you’ll learn that lesson, hopefully NOT the hard way!
  12. At a certain age, make up becomes a requirement instead of an option. A touch of mascara, blush and lip gloss can do wonders.
  13. Sleep is a girl’s best friend, not diamonds.
  14. You can’t take care of everyone and forget to take care of yourself. You are important.
  15. ‘Easier said than done’ applies to nearly every situation. However, no one promised it would ever be easy.
  16. Faking anything takes more effort than being authentic. Real talk.
  17. You aren’t born strong. Life forces you to become strong.
  18. Your worth isn’t dependent on someone else’s actions, words or feelings.
  19. Never put dish soap in the dishwasher.
  20. Sure you could DIY the same thing and maybe for less, but let’s be honest you won’t. Buy it and save yourself the trouble.
  21. Being offensive is sometimes a good thing. It means you go against the crowd and have free thought.
  22. You are replaceable in nearly every aspect of your life, but your kids, they will never have another you. Be present.
  23. Keep your head high and your middle finger higher. Haters are everywhere. Do you boo.
  24. True love isn’t two people who get it right. True love is two people who decide to keep working to make it right when everything goes wrong.
  25. You don’t need anyone to rescue you. You’ve got this.
  26. Don’t wait for your dreams to come to you. It’s up to you to chase them!
  27. You will never be the best if you find someone else to compete against constantly. On the other hand, you will always be the best version of you if you compete against yesterday’s version of you everyday.
  28. Life isn’t waiting for you to live it. It’s passing you by. Regret is worse than not trying.
  29. You can do whatever you think you can. Also, You won’t do whatever you think you can’t. Your mind can be your biggest obstacle or your biggest tool.
  30. Your feelings aren’t wrong, ever, you feel what you feel. Don’t allow anyone to tell you how you should or shouldn’t feel.
  31. Forgiveness is for you. You have to let go of the past to move forward.
  32. It’s hard. All of it. Every day. There is no get it right guide. It’s fail and fail better. The point is that you get up and keep trying.
  33. Beauty will fade with age. Kindness, on the other hand never loses it’s appeal.
  34. It can be clean or it can be fun, very rarely is it both. This is true in all things.
  35. Work at work. Don’t allow it to define your life or be your identifying characteristic.
  36. Don’t judge. You never know what chapter you are walking into.
  37. Make time for you. Your peace. Your passions. Your soul. Your growth. You’re allowed autonomy and to be your own person.
  38. Don’t test out your gas gage if you aren’t prepared to run out.
  39. You are amazing. You are enough. You are perfectly imperfect. Treat yourself and others how you want them to treat you. You are loved.

This Year

This year, I hope I can give myself the gift of peace. Peace of mind and peace that it is all going to fall into place in good time. I hope that I will find a way forward from the past two years and begin to sail into calmer waters. Although, it’s been a rough year {or decade} I know that it has made me better in many ways. In addition, I know my time is coming. Soon, I will reap the benefits of my efforts and I will find my next chapter is one that I won’t want to stop writing.

Not Just Another Day

I’m not going to pretend that my birthday is ‘just another day.’ It’s not! It’s special. It’s celebrating that I made it through another year. It’s celebrating that I am here. Furthermore, it’s a day that others can show their love to you and appreciation. I deserve that! You deserve that! Birthdays are beautiful expressions of gratitude for your own life, both from you and those you love. So here’s to 38! Stay positive! You’ve got this! ☮️❤️😊~M