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New Year…Not so New Me

Happy New Year! I’m late I know, that’s not unusual for me though. I celebrated with the two oldest of my threefold last night, ‘E’, #1’s boyfriend joined us and so did #2’s friend, ex, somebody. It’s complicated. We had a good time. We played radio roulette, ate finger foods, did year end ultimate positives and negatives, and danced. It was fun. We watched the countdown and then we all went to our corners of the house to sleep.

This morning, noon rather, I awoke and expected some sort of relief that the year before was complete. I expected to be full of inspiration and energy. I wasn’t. I was annoyed. I laid thinking of all I had to be grateful for and still I was irritated. I did my normal go outside and wake up in the peace and quiet. Think positive thoughts and wipe the funk out of my eyes. Manifest a great day. No avail.

I checked Facebook and saw the post that I had made a few days ago was getting lots of reactions and shares. Even that didn’t help my growing irritability, the headache I was developing, the tension in my shoulders and neck, or my anxiety. I couldn’t find the root cause. Why was I so edgy?

I did my best to keep to myself as I always do when my mood goes haywire. ‘E’ has been sick so as he slept the day away I worked on my content so I would have some fresh stuff to post this week. I was trying to be productive. Then my head couldn’t take the screen or the light. #1 needed a birthday gift for a party she was attending but with this headache I wasn’t going anywhere. I put her in an Uber and sent her and her boyfriend on their way. After that, I went to bed and tried to sleep away my headache and irritation.

#2 asked to go spend the night with a friend. I haven’t spent a single night, let alone more than a few hours, away from this kid since her discharge in late August. She had a compelling argument. Then again, she always does. I was reluctant and told her I would think about it. It’s been six months since she stayed with a friend. She hasn’t even asked to go stay with anyone. I agreed. It was time to give her some deserved independence and trust. I saw her off and took #1 to her party. Back home for some chill time and some take out.

I meditated before going in and got my mood a little in check. I was trying to be ok. I wanted to feel better and just chill on a child free evening that is a rarity for me. I logged into my work portal and was happy to see 80 hours of vacation time that started today. I was glad to see the few hours I had left from last year had been rolled over, even though that’s not policy. When I clicked a button to check on my year end raise I saw that I received more than the average raise I got at the end of last year. This should have been enough to make me happy, but somehow it only added to the irritation.

My night chilling without kids didn’t last because an argument ensued between’E’ and I. My already edgy irritable demeanor roared to life with the first hint of attitude. That spark grew into anger. I was pissed. Not on edge, not upset, I was full on pissed. I stormed off not even sure where I would go. All I could think was ‘I can’t believe this is how my new year starts!’ Here I was thinking it would be a magical fresh start and a clean slate and instead it’s this.

Where did I go wrong? I rang in the new year. I meditated. I manifested. I sat in gratitude. So why was I in such a shitty mood? Why was my new year starting out on the wrong foot? It wasn’t supposed to be like this! The answer is me. I’m the reason it was so jacked up. I could say it’s because I’m bipolar or that I’m PMS’ing, or the headache, or my neck. Those could all be valid reasons. They can’t excuse my irritation and explosive reaction even if those are true.

Now here I sit reflecting on my day. My first day of a new year. On my piss poor, irritated, and ungrateful attitude. I sat and wallowed in my disappointment with the day and now that disappointment has turned inward. What the hell is wrong with me? I got a raise! I have two weeks plus some paid vacation! My daughter is taking on more independence again. My other is graduating soon. I’ve got a man who won’t budge despite how hard I push him away. I have a home. My threefold and I are safe and healthy. We have so much good in our lives, yet I can’t get out of my own way to just be grateful for it. I have to snap out of it!

I’m the only person that can control my own emotions, attitude, actions, and responses. Only me. Sometimes you just have an off day. Sometimes you can’t see the good because your eyes hurt when you look at the light. Sometimes you’re just being a bitch and need to check yourself. Sometimes we let ourselves be encompassed by a little bit of bad and refuse to let the good in. Sometimes we have to let it blow up so that we can get it together. It’s not ever going to be perfect and neither am I. I won’t allow one bad day define my year. All I can do is move forward. Have a better tomorrow. Do it differently. Be positive. We’ve got this! ☮️❤️😊~M

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Without Further Ado…

Hello! Today is the day I show the face behind the words, snarky comments, the tears, the laughter, and the sarcastic anecdotes. I’ve revealed so much about my life OUR life…but today I’m also revealing the real person living that life.{I’m freaking out!} I’ve spent the last year hiding this, but I don’t want to hide anymore.

I chose to hide. I had decided that I didn’t want people to see the author, mainly because I was protecting myself from scrutiny and hateful comments. I also wanted to protect my threefold. I wanted us to have a voice but I wanted the anonymity as well. Those things don’t go hand in hand. I’ve learned that the faces behind the words are important in order to form a connection, regardless of how compelling the words may be on their own. It’s overdue, but I’ve been so nervous about the haters, my threefold facing judgement, my own insecurities, and of course my ex. I didn’t realize I was allowing all of those people to have the control over what I would do or could do with my own life. I was still allowing my past mistakes and experiences to drive my future. Not anymore!

I don’t want to hide behind my words anymore. I don’t want my past to overshadow my future. My voice, my identity and my story has remained hidden for too long. I’ve lived in fear and worried about other people’s opinions of me for far too long. It’s time to truly shine a light on our story. We deserve to take back that power. We need to stand firm in our truth and in our faith for a better future. The future we create for ourselves. Let your light shine! Be Positive! We’ve Got This! ☮️❤️😊~M

The Author behind ‘My Threefold’
☮️❤️😊~M
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Break the Cycle!

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Aim For Progress NOT Perfection!

As promised, I am going to share a step in the Goal Getter’s Guide that sets the tone for my entire day and can be beneficial for everyone else reading too. Having a morning routine! A morning routine is just what you would think it is and whether you realize it or not you already have one. I’m simply suggesting you become more intentional about that routine! It’s easier said than done {believe me I know!} If you’re routine is a mess and there is no method to the madness then I know where you are, I’ve been there too! It’s time to revamp it!

My morning routine was shit. It just was. My morning routine consisted of rushing out of bed {after the 5th alarm} while running around the house trying to make sure my threefold was up and moving. It involved yelling, frustration, cuss words and missing the bus. It was full of negativity and wondering what I was forgetting. I was not only starting my day off in the worst way, but also everyone else’s. I don’t think anyone really realizes how much the morning affects their whole day and how your actions can set the tone for how the day will play out.

Now, I won’t lie, my routine is still in need of improvement and isn’t one making other moms jealous. I have learned what I do in the morning, how I speak, and how I think has the power to make or break my entire day. My new routine makes me much more prepared for my day! It also gives me time to mentally set my intentions for the day. I still need the five alarms and sometimes a swift kick in the ass to get moving, but it’s improved in nearly every other area. We don’t have family breakfast before school or a big motivational pep talk. I can tell a difference though as I realize now that my routine not only affects me positively but also my threefold {even if they won’t admit it!} I bet you’re wondering what I do in the morning that doesn’t involve an hour workout, a big chunk of my day, or getting up at the butt crack of dawn.

Revamp and Rev Up Your Routine!

  1. Wake Up With Gratitude. Those five alarms I set, well the final three have notes reminding me to be grateful! So when my eyes open and I immediately want to moan and groan about getting up I instead stop and think about what I’m thankful for. This forces me to be mindful before the endless list of to do’s start running through my head demanding all of my attention. It doesn’t always work out {mainly because I sleep through that damn alarm, all five, and don’t even bother turning them off!} some days I’m still on too big of a hurry to take the two minutes to sit in gratitude. {that’s bullshit, I don’t MAKE the time.} We all have two minutes, will you take them to be thankful for another shot to do better?
  2. Get Motivated! As I stated my routine still needs some improvement, but my motivational audio and specific morning music playlists are on my morning agenda! I usually listen to my morning motivational audio on YouTube while driving #1 of my threefold {the oldest kid} to school. I continue that while doing my make up at the bus stop waiting with #3. The playlists are a great way to get inspiration and fuel my get up and go for my day!
  3. Meditate!!! Meditation is my way of mentally preparing myself for my day and one thing I feel is necessary in order for me to be at my best throughout my day. I clear my head and breathe. If I have to choose to be on time or meditate then I will choose meditation EVERY time. I usually do a quick meditation in the morning {10-15 minutes.} Meditation quiets the noise in my head and the noise around me. It relaxes me and resets my thinking so I can move to my next step.
  4. Manifest! I not only think about what I want for the day, but put pen to paper and write it down. Writing or ‘scripting’ my intentions for the day is my favorite thing about my morning routine. I put it out into the universe exactly how I want my day to go. I imagine myself having an awesome day and the part I will play in making that day happen for myself. It sounds hokey and too easy but it works! Do I have a great day everyday? Nope. I do have more good days than bad ones. Honestly, I have bad moments not bad days~because I am the only person who decides if I will allow a bad moment to change the course of my day. My advice is to decide what you want for the day and fully imagine it then write it down. That’s all there is to scripting your day.
  5. Positive Affirmations. I fought this one the hardest {well besides the actual get out of bed part} I thought these were so cheesy when I had a therapist I wasn’t that fond of recommend trying it because my self talk was so negative. I was getting really good at speaking positivity into others, especially my threefold, but I was beating myself up. At first, I sounded sarcastic and thought how stupid it was to repeat ‘I am control of myself and my emotions’ amongst a million other lines that felt so silly to be saying. I don’t know when it happened, but at some point I started to believe them and I didn’t sound sarcastic or doubt the validity of what I was saying. After a while, I was saying them in my head when I found myself in a situation where I would normally start my verbal assault on my entire way of life. I listen to these on the way to work in the morning or anytime I need the extra reminder that ‘I am enough!’

I definitely won’t pretend to have it all together but my 30 minutes in the morning that I split up between my drop offs and waiting on buses, makes me feel better prepared for my day. The little chunks of time that would be spent mindlessly worrying about how much I need to do are now better spent taking actions towards reaching my goals. These little changes that I fit into my morning mayhem with my threefold have made me less stressed, more positive, and more productive. It’s not always easily accomplished, but it’s time well spent not wasted on worry.

Starting your day off on a positive note will boost your mood throughout the day. You’ve already accomplished a goal {no matter the size} first thing in the morning. The days where the morning routine is seamless and all goes accordingly are awesome, but when I accomplish all of my morning routine even amongst the morning mayhem it feels amazing. Before I began this little routine I would let one minor hiccup hijack my mood and my day. I had decided off the bat that however I felt when I woke up was how I would feel all day. The fact is that we decide what kind of day we are going to have. We decide to be a good mood or a bad one. We decide how we handle the obstacles and challenges that arise throughout our day. It’s not by chance that you have a good day, it’s by choice! It’s not about perfection, it’s about progress. If you don’t like it, change it! Stay positive! You’ve got this! ☮️❤️😊~M

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Oh Happy Day:

Today was an amazing day! For the first time in a week I’ve felt like almost a whole functioning person again! The lingering cough and general tiredness aside, I actually made it a whole day without needing a nap or feeling like my head would explode. Covid was no joke and I’m grateful that the worst {still crossing the fingers, and toes and my legs because I’m a damn lady} is behind me. I marked a couple Christmas presents off the list and even splurged a little on myself. That’s right, Momma got some new shoes! I found a new pair of Nike tennis shoes {I’m overdue for a new pair} for $37.95! I love a deal! I’m not a coupon lady, but I don’t buy unnecessary items {don’t look at my extensive collection of journals or my colorful pens.} without scouting out the deals. I’m a TJ Max, Good Will, thrift shop, white-trash garage sale kind of spender. If I have something expensive it’s most likely because someone got it for me. I’m not the designer hand bag and matching shoes kind of mom, but I can rock my $40 nikes and my under armour hoodie I got for $15, the messy bun, no make up, sweatpants hot mess mom look all day, every day. I don’t think I would be any different if I had the funds to support luxury spending sprees. My journal collection would be obscene and I’d most likely own every motivational knick knack that caught my eye, but my sweats, worn out tees and tennis shoes would never go away.

What I was really excited about today was getting my printed copy of my Goal Getter Workbook in my hands! It was a sense of accomplishment to see my artwork, my quotes, my words, and my vision printed on paper with a cover and bound. It was my first big ‘aha’ moment where I could fully visualize my dreams coming to life! It was a dream of mine to write and it’s one I’ve put off for years. My hopes and dreams were left collecting dust and slowly dying while I was busy being too scared to even attempt seeing them to fruition. I was scared to fail and I was scared of the judgment of people in my life or the criticism of people that know nothing about me. After all, I was the girl who secured a Facebook page years prior to posting publicly and bought my domain mythreefold.com three years before even designing my first piece of digital artwork or writing my first piece. For me to go from ‘maybe one day’ to holding my own piece of work just 7 months since starting this journey -in my hands– is the most awesome feeling. I’m patting myself on the back today and beaming with pride at my 15 page workbook. Pardon my huge goofy grin, my ego, and my excitement but I deserve to have this day to celebrate my first big moment. {insert awkward happy dance here}

I’m so pumped I’m already starting on my next creation and looking at all the opportunities available to me in this writing world. I am making moves people, best watch out for this girl, I’m a goal getter with a determination and a drive that is unmatched by many, equaled by some, and surpassed only by few! {can you sense what my family is dealing with right now? Pray for them!} I’m going to accomplish my goals and create a life that is my brand of amazing. I am open to tips, tricks, recommendations and any other constructive suggestions that may be useful as I explore the future of My Threefold. As Dr. Seuss said ‘Oh the Places You Will Go!’ Ready. Set. GO! Here I come, ready or not! It’s going to be a wild and crazy ride, but the crazy train is leaving the station! All aboard the F-yeah Freight Train! Be positive & believe in yourself! ☮️❤️😊~M