I feel like it wasn’t too terribly long ago that I looked into your beautiful baby blue eyes and saw this new life in you that made me a mom. A little nose like mine and strawberry fuzz that covered your crown. You were magnificent and I knew that I too was reborn that day. You made me a momma, and in your little face I had found my truest love to date.
I was only 19, barely on my own path and I was suddenly diving headfirst into a world that previously had involved the occasional messy diaper and few other minor inconveniences that my babysitting jobs entailed. I had no experience with your tiniest of frames at 17 1/2″ and 6lb 8oz you were much like a baby doll i had once drug around as a small child.
I was just a baby myself, much like you are now, my sweet little love. I was freshly plucked from my fast life as a teenager and tossed into this world of Motherhood. I was grateful beyond measure for a family that a seasoned pro ready to spoil her first grandchild and a poppa who thought you hung the moon. Foe the first time, I saw how hard it was to be the mom. It was an appreciation I hadn’t known prior to your arrival.
Here we are, a mere 18 years later and I’m standing the shoes your Nana once wore, without her here pushing me on. I watch as your still tiny frame tries to accommodate your own little girl. I never thought about being a Nona, Mimi, Nana, or a Mamaw past that “one day” assumption. Yet here we stand. Footsteps that I didn’t wish for you to follow. A path that’s hard to tread at your young age.
Everything will be harder. It will, however, be clearer. You’ve already decided certain aspects of this little person’s life that will impact their life for the future. A name, a nickname, where you’ll live and all things you want, hope, and dream she will be. However, who she is will be shaped and determined by the paths we as the family who surrounds her chooses to take. As you know, my little love, children are most often along for the journey chosen by those who raise her.
I hope with your own journey in mind that you know this much is true. I am here. I am still your momma even as you become a momma yourself. I can still kiss the boo boo’s, but I can’t take the falls. I can hold you as you scream, but no matter my desire I can’t shoulder the pain. I can guide you, show you and teach you the lessons I’ve learned but I can’t transfer the experience. I can be like the grandmother that was taken from you 14 years ago, but I will never be Nana you knew, nor the momma you are now.
Life has thrown us a lot of punches. We’ve taken the hits and learned to fight back. You and I grew up together, myself as much as you. I was forced to walk this road down Motherhood lane much on my own. I haven’t been the mother you deserved, nor always the one you needed me to be, but I’ve been the best I knew how to be. You, my little love, will too. Mommin’ aint easy, but I’ll be here for you, with you, and loving you through it as long as I live. You’ve got this, my sweet little love! You’re as tough as a mother. I can’t wait to see the amazing person you’ve created and watch you become the momma you never knew you were destined to be. I’m proud to be your momma. Soon, you’ll understand just what a mother’s love truly means.
Mommin’ ain’t easy y’all! Raising teenage daughters is comparable to being a personal assistant that is on call 24/7 and has an unappreciative and entitled employer. I wasn’t prepared for many things when I became a momma. This level is harder than I anticipated! Moms walk this fine line of love and hate with their daughters.Honestly, if you have a teenager it’s like all the rules change. Anyone who thinks boys are harder, well they haven’t spent a day with my threefold.
Teenage Daughters…(sigh)
I was a teenager, ya know, once upon a time. My mother and I weren’t the mother/daughter duo of tv sitcoms. To be honest, we barely tolerated each other and I never wanted to have that relationship with my threefold. When I became a mom, I was determined to be a better mom than my own. In ways, I am but in some ways I can see why my mom was the parent she was too.
My mom wished threefold upon me before #2 of my threefold was born. {thanks again mom} After my mom passed away I was only 23 and had no preparation for what motherhood would actually be. What I have found is that it is the hardest job on the planet. The truth is that a mom is equal parts of feeling like you are never enough and feeling like you are always doing too much. All. The. Damn. Time.
You Are a Good Mom
In case no one has told you lately, you’re a good mom! You are doing a great job and you are appreciated. I tell myself that when I am kicking myself in the ass for yelling at my threefold or stressing over all the things that moms worry about. However, it’s hard to see the appreciation through the eye rolls and sighs of discontentment we receive from our offspring. It’s there. Even if it isn’t said.
I know what my threefold love {and hate} about me. I know my strengths {and weaknesses} as a mom. One thing that has come to light as my threefold have grown is that they each need different things from me as a mom. They are unique individuals. Mommin’ isn’t a one size fits all gig. Even so, all we can do is give our best everyday and hope our best is good enough.
Raising Teenage Daughters
I didn’t receive a guide for raising my threefold. I didn’t even have a person to go to and ask about this whole mom thing. My parenting style is just me winging it, almost as much as my daughter wings her eyeliner these days. Most moms think they know what to expect, but you definitely don’t. If you did then I would argue that you should write that guide for the rest of us moms who are out here running on caffeine and chaos!
For the moms who are just starting out, the newbie on the mom scene this list is for you. May the odds be ever in your favor. Stay strong, like that coffee you will be drinking in the morning to fuel your motivation for motherhood. To the moms who are in the trenches raising teenagers, I hope this gives you a sigh of relief that you aren’t alone. This list will make you laugh, cringe, and maybe even shake your head. Whatever your reaction, just remember, we get threefold what we gave to our parents…and so will our children get that too!
19 Truths I’ve Learned Raising Teenage Daughters
Hoarding. Yes I said it. 2 out of 3 of my threefold seem to be hoarders. I have a mine field on two of the bedrooms of our home. Not cool. Afterall, trash goes in trash cans, not under beds. It’s like going into A Marshall’s department store. You just go to browse, but you leave with a bag full of clothes, a random set of cutlery, some dishes, and a headache.
Wastefulness. The amount of food I find wasted is obscene. The drinks left half full and you hear the same thing. However, they want to blame everyone else except themselves. You wonder why you have a grocery bill that is equal to a mortgage payment each month and then to see the waste. It’s infuriating!
DRAMA. This one! Wow. I don’t remember being this dramatic when I was a teenager, but I’m sure I was. If you want to strike up a conversation with a teenage girl just ask how their frenemy is doing. The result will have you lose an hour of your life with this one question.
Know it All. They always say ‘I know mom’ but still manage to not know. Regardless of what they say, ‘I know’ in teenage talk means ‘shut up’
The Switch. When it’s just us we are comfortable and safe to be ourselves. It’s inappropriate and hilarious. The result is us acting goofy and silly. Once a new friend is over, and I’m still me, but they switch on the exasperated embarrassed and too cool persona.
So Gross. If it’s gross I have encountered it throughout motherhood. You expect that to change as they get older, but it doesn’t it just becomes a different gross.
Hygiene. Why do teenagers want to smell like the back of a Chuck E Cheese in the middle of July and McDonald’s onions? This is one thing I will never understand. Just shower! I could fry chicken with all the grease in their hair! In addition to that, that breath is rank. There is a bathroom with a sink AND a shower in addition to that toilet that is often abused.
Dating. Yes you expect this, but what I didn’t expect was the different types of dating. You have talking, going out, crushing, and commitment. I mean what happened to you are dating or you’re not?
Speaking in code. Have you received a text from a teenager and spent an hour just decoding the message? Then you know what I mean. It’s just emojis and random abbreviations. Idk…SMH.
Bathroom Banter. I thought farts and talking shit about your shit was a boy thing or something small children giggled about. I was wrong! Descriptions including size, color, and smell weren’t on my expectation list, yet I still get the updates.
Sex. Yes we know this will happen, eventually, but once you open Pandora’s box and you have open discussions to address questions for your teenager shit gets real. In fact, you may find yourself with a pen and paper taking notes. They know a lot more then we did at their age. Thanks google.
Meanagers. Teenagers are assholes. They are mean, selfish, rude and disrespectful at times. If you didn’t expect to hear loud sighs, see eye rolls, or hear a loud ‘you are ruining my life’ then think again. In all honesty, I don’t know any mom that has not heard the words ‘I hate you’ at least once.
Expensive. We expect our mini me masterpieces to cost us a small fortune, but I didn’t expect raising a teenager would be like paying for a house in cash. Consequently, keeping them in name brand clothes, Nike shoes, make up, hair products, events, extracurricular activities, and the list goes on. It all adds up! The end result is that I feel like I work these days to fund my threefold’s ever growing needs.
Insecurity. I remember being a teen and hating my body and having negative self talk. I just didn’t expect my threefold to have that warped self image. Furthermore, being a teenager is hard and being confident as a teenager is even more difficult. If only they saw what we see.
Mental Health. It would be easy to assume that because I struggled with mental illness starting at a young age that my threefold would too. However, I didn’t expect to be Mommin’ mental illness on the daily. Nor was I prepared for the level of care needed for myself and my threefold.
Guilt. How much mom guilt do you carry? An average amount? None? A lot? I didn’t expect to feel guilty as a mom. I do though. All. The. Damn. Time.
Inappropriate. I have always been pretty inappropriate. Afterall, I didn’t stop using the f word just because I had kids. For example, my jokes containing ‘your mother’ and ‘that’s what she said’ never ceased to be hilarious to me. I didn’t expect that my daughters would have the wildly inappropriate sense of humor they do. It’s true you’re a product of your raising and I’m ok with that.
Individuality. If you were expecting that because they are all girls and all siblings must mean they are similar…WRONG! They may have similar characteristics but they are so different. Therefore, they also need different things from me.
Love. You will never expect the love that comes with being a mom. You will find, that as they grow so does that love. Moreover, you may not always like their behavior, but you will always love them more than anything or anyone else.
Breathe
In the meantime, relax a bit and enjoy this crazy ride. Besides, soon enough they’ll be off living a life that isn’t reliant upon you. These teenage know it all’s with their hoarder tendencies and inappropriate senses of humor will be raising their own little minions. You’ll be flaunting your bedazzled velour running suit and they’ll be the ones wearing the yoga pants that have never been worn for actual yoga.
I’ve already said it once, however, its worth repeating. You’re doing a great job. You are a good mom. One day, you’ll be laughing and wishing threefold on them. Guess what? They’ll get it. In the end, these mouthy teenage girls will become women bitching about their own little crotch goblins that they created. What about you? In the end, you will be laughing and saying I told you so. The final result will be you saying “Mommin’ ain’t easy is it? That’s right I bought that t-shirt. You can borrow it!” In the meantime stay positive! We’ve got this! ☮️❤️😊~M PS: Follow us on Facebook!
